Where does your baby sleep?

[Velvetee]

We've been attending Antenatal classes, there were also 4 other couples attending. The subject of where new babies should sleep was brought up, by a couple of the men, who it appeared wanted their new babies to sleep in his/her's own room, so their own sleep wouldn't be disturbed.

My partner and I were utterly shocked by this and couldn't understand why it would even be an issue, surely a newborn baby would automatically sleep in a cot, in the parent's room? I would personally be terrified leaving my baby alone, incase he stopped breathing and I was unaware. I could never forgive myself.

Where do or did everyone elses newborn babies sleep and for how long before your baby went into it's own room?

[NOX]

Our babies always slept in our bed until they were about six months old or so, then at their own time moved to their cot in our room and finally to their own room ( timescale varied on that from child to child, but you know when they are ready.)

[Velvetee]

Thanks Nox. Were your babies sleeping in your bed from newborn? Were you ever concerned you might roll onto them or does that instinctive thing really just kick in naturally?

[Ice.Maiden]

I also had mine in bed with me sometimes. I had no fears about smothering them, as I didn't drink and, to be perfectly honest, it's a mother's natural reaction to wake up at the slightest sound or movement from their babies.
The rest of the time, the cot was in our room, which made late/early changes and feeds easier. the boys were introduced to their own bedrooms at about 5 months.

[NOX]

Yeah they were in our bed from day one, and no I was never concerned that they'd get squashed, as you do sleep lighter and more 'carefully' when you have a baby in bed with you, odd but a totally different style of sleep ( not less refreshing though I might add).
Obviously don't sleep in bed with them if you have had a drink or take sleeping pills etc, as that clearly wouldn't be safe, but nothing beats co-sleeping if you want peaceful nights and happy well adjusted babies, which all of ours were and I think it's largely down to that.
My ex wife has recently had twins with her new partner and they are co-sleeping them as well, and likewise they seem happy confident little babies.

[Ice.Maiden]

I agree with you NOX. You form a bond with your child by always keeping it close to you, and you're right - no one in their right mind'd drink heavily, take sleeping pills or be so over-tired that they'd roll over and squash their baby without knowing it.

[jno]

I never slept with my parents; jno jnr didn't sleep with us. It didn't affect anyone's personality or adjustedness, and nobody died (cot death wasn't such a fear then, though). Sleeping in the next room didn't really make that much difference, though: you're still attuned to the slightest hiccup. One thing we did do was work out a pattern for who did 2am feeds so we both got plenty of sleep (we both worked shifts at the time so it wasn't always easy sorting this).

Different strokes for different folks; I was never shocked when I heard other parents did things differently from me. You'll be amazed how flexible babies are, as long as they're loved.

[tamborine]

Mine were in carrycots beside my bed. Last one was in bed with us but my side - safer. Also had babes sleep on floor/furniture during day while I worked & in bedroom when I slept.

Chinese mothers carry baby in cloth sling 24/7 on body to feel breathing.....I did next best by having them at arms length.

[Velvetee]

Thanks everyone. The Antenatal instructor did advise it was best for baby to sleep in the parents room, as there is evidence that SIDS is reduced, as the baby can hear the breathing of it's parents, which apparently helps to regulate it's own breathing.

Not sure I'd have baby in bed with me, until he's a bit older though, don't know if I'd trust myself not to squash him, as I'm a very eratic sleeper, who moves all over the place all night.

[Ice.Maiden]

Even if you're quite a heavy sleeper Velvetee, you instinctively wake up if your baby murmours, but if you'r liable to have a couple of glasses of wine or take any sleeping medication, obviously your baby's better off in a cot or some other secure and snug arrangement in the same room.
We always kept our baby monitor on as well - just in case we DID sleep heavily, but we never had to use it whilst we were around ourselves.

[tamborine]

You'll know what's best when 'he' arrives - so you've sexed him. Boys are more trying babies than girls.....can't wait to hear of your experiences. Get ALL the sleep you can now - 'cause you aint gonna get much when he arrives;)

[Ice.Maiden]

LOL - this's very true, but that time pases quickly, and then you wish they were at that lovely little stage again - don't you???

[tamborine]

agree Ice.....another tip for sons: Knock 'em into shape before they start wingeing to teachers in school!

[Ice.Maiden]

Teach them to understand things from a woman's perspective as well - e.g., to put the loo seat down afer use!

[gossipgirl]

my first child ended up sleeping in my bed and we both seemed to get a raelly good nights sleep, even though i was aware that he was there i never rolled onto him etc. However he slept with me till he was 3 but as i was no longer with his father at that point it didnt bother me. My daughter on the otherhand slept in a cot in our room untilshe was 1 then we put her in her own room. Occaisionally she ends up in our bed, but ive usually find that once she is sleeping again shes no bother putting her back into her own.

[k8bailey]

My daughter only slept in our room for a week, she snored, our bed creaked, and we have two catswho we had to shut out of our room so they used to sit outside and howl! not very peaceful. When she went into her own room we were all happier and got more rest.

Of course I worried, but we had a baby monitor on (still do at 11 months). Co-sleeping was not really an option for us, for the reasons above, and my partner is a VERY heavy sleeper, who has rolled onto her! Luckily, no harm done!We only do co-sleeping when she's ill, and usually my partner has to sleep downstairs!! LOL.

Every one will do things their own way - I had planned on having Nancy in our room untill she outgrew the moses basket, but it just didn't work out like that!

P.S. She's a fantastic sleeper and has been since 5 weeks, I honestly believe that it would be a different story, had we persevered with having her in our room. Also she's used to being on her own sometimes so didn't/hasn't really suffered separation anxiety.

[lollyone]

Hi velvetee.
Not long now eh?
Our bubba slept in a moses basket in our room for 3 months then we put the moses basket in her cot in her own room. Then about 3 weeks after we took the basket out and she sleeps in the cot now. She's almost 5 months now and transferring her from room to room and basket to cot made no difference to her at all.
I do think we are lucky though as she is a very good sleeper.
We never had her in her bed as I don't think any of us would have gotten much sleep. I would've been too worried about smothering her. Instinct or not.
Each to their own though.
My best mate put her son in his own bed in his own room at 5weeks. They all slept much better. But our nephew is 11 months and he has always slept in bed with his parents. He refuses to sleep anywhere else now.

I feel the same as k8bailey. I'm glad we moved her when we did as she got used to it before she was old enough to know any different.

[tigwig]

I'm afraid you'll probably think I was cruel Velvetee!!!
My daughter slept in a moses basket next to our bed for 5-7 nights then I couldn't stand it any more! Her normal newborn strange breathing (you'll know what I mean soon) kept me awake. Every snuffle I would panic and couldn't sleep. She then got put in her own room with the basket inside the cot. She slept through completely from 6 weeks and has been an angel at bedtime ever since. I don't know what I'll do with the 2nd but it definitely won't be in the bed with me! Just do what you feel is best. In my opinion though you cause sleeping problems later when you co share the bed!

[Velvetee]

Well I guess it will be a case of trying it, seeing how we feel and then working it out to suit us all. I suppose I won't really know what's best until I've been there and done it.

Thanks for all your replies.

[cazzz1975]

all my children were sleeping in their cots next to our bed for the first 6 months, then to their own room. They dont advise letting babies share their parents beds, its an unecessary risk when they can sleep safely in their own bed without fear of suffocation

[CathyKennedy]

Hi Velvetee,

I've got another suggestion - how about a cot that attaches onto the side of the bed? That's what I did with my 2 (now 5 and nearly 4) and that meant I was close enough to feed on demand, but still had some room to sleep.

I wouldn't have put either of my babes next to my DH - he'd have squashed them for sure!