Wedding Guests - How much is reasonable?

[HJT40]

I am getting married in 11 weeks (yipee!). The invites were sent out in plenty of time, due to school summer holidays, we are getting married in a registry office near where we live and the reception is also near by. My family are about 10 miles from where we live and most of his are very near, or have lived in the area before moving away.

We hoped that we had been thoughtful with our arrangements, taking in to account children, advance notice etc.

When the invites went out my brother made a comment about why we were getting married near us when most of our guests were nearer to another registry office.

Of course we are aware that the reception is out in the sticks a bit and that people will either have to drive or pre arrange a taxi. But this now also seems to be wrong as he is saying people will leave early because the bar will be expensive or because they cannot drink.

Have we been completely selfish or does he just have a downer on the whole thing?

Before you ask he is mid 40's and never been married..... Hmm have I just answered my own question?

[dustinmyeye]

its the one day which you are allowed to be selfish, not that you are . i think what he is saying is pretty ridiculous tbh.

[squarebear]

It's entirely up to you where you get married. I guess it's sour grapes like you say.

Congrats by the way !

[HJT40]

Thank you, both of you.

It just left me wondering whether we shoud have offered to arrange taxies etc? But I was assuming that as this is not a wedding abroad most people wouldn't mind sorting out travel arrangements or hotels themselves. Is that what is done now?

I will make sure his glass is always half empty at the reception, just as he likes it!

[Infomaniac]

He has no right to criticise the arrangements you have made for your special day - do not let him spoil it for you. You have been very thoughtful in arranging the date to suit people with children and you have the right to have your reception where you want to. I hope you have a wonderful and happy day.

[HJT40]

Thank you. I will enjoy the day, I guess I am too used to having a big brother who makes me question what I do.

Personally I can't wait!

[sophie_1003]

weddings seem to make usually reasonable people act a bit strange, I'm going to a wedding next friday where there was a lot of "Well, I won't be able to go because of so and so" but I'm sure on the day everyone will have a lovely time so don't worry too much about it! Congratulations btw!

[Infomaniac]

It is not your responsibility to arrange transport for your guests. If some of them want to join together to hire a minibus or something that is up to them. Ditto hotel arrangements. You just concentrate on you.

[marval]

Congratulations, do not worry about what your brother says. It is your day, maybe some people could give lifts to those who need it.

[mrs.chappie]

What a miserable bu88er your brother is, giving you doubts about your plans.

You can't please all of the people all of the time, he must know that. Compromise is the key (and you've got that sorted very well).

I'd say sod 'em if they don't want to put themselves out a little bit for your big day. (Mind you, now I'm getting on a bit, very little bothers me ... I think it has come with age).

Have a lovely day and a super life ahead. Pitter patter of tiny feet on the horizon at all?

[:o)

[HJT40]

Thank you all for your kind answers, I knew I could rely on the voices of reason. Feel a lot less selfish now!

Mrs Chappie - I wish! Unfortunately it took me a while to find the love of my life and I am not sure that with one already nearly 15 and me at 43 it is wise to start with babies again. Oh how I wish I had me him a long time ago, but I guess we had to live our lives to be happy being the people we are today. He is a bit younger but happy it just being the three of us as a family.

[albaqwerty]

congrats hjt

have 2 older bothers who never liked what i did, but hey 22 years married, never arranged transport for lots of guests
had a great day. guests told me much later they enjoyed party
and yes i meant bothers not brothers lol

[mrs.chappie]

Hey lass, it's good to read about your happiness with your chappie and your young 'un. A smashing little family.

Gives me a nice, warm glow inside, it really does.

[SuDFB]

At mine wedding last year we went from the registry office to a park for fotos and then to the 'party' and you know what I didn't arrange transport for anyone.
It was a lovely day and who had cars gave lifts to people that didn't and so on...

It's your day think about you only... You know what I did to poeple like your brother when it was mine wedding... Stayed well clear and didn't give a toss what they tought lol

Congrats huni hope you have a wonderful day :)

[cassa333]

Your brother is just being a bit of an @rse.

If you have the wedding you want were you want, the guests fit in.

If it is in a hotel then you could arrange with the hotel reduced rates for your guests staying over or find a taxi firm with a mini bus that is willing to give you a party rate and tell your guests that they can hire it.

If there is a large family contingent that come from the same area this might work well for them.

Having your wedding or reception in a farther place than your guests are used to being able to role out drunk and stagger home isn't your problem

[HJT40]

Thank you. It is all in perspective now, what a numpty he is being!

Thank you for all the good wishes, I certainly intend to enjoy the day and all the ones that follow.

xx

[kira000]

I would concurr with the other posters. your brother is just being a bit of a sour puss.

What you could do, which i have seen done many times, is do a little research and prepare a list of 4 or 5 local cab firms that serve the venue, and maybe get a few quotes on how much the fare would be to a handful of places.
You can then circulate it before the day to help with plans, and/or keep a few copies at the venue for your guests to refer to on the day.

Good Luck and enjoy YOUY day!