heartbroken

[stevie1time]

I split with my ex 5 years ago..it was amicable...i have 3 sons who are and have been my life and hope...ive allways paid an above reasonable amount toward their kids..ive seen them twice in 6 months upkeep and also put any hope of a new relationship of my own for them. on hold..ie..stayed single.....since last January..i had to say to my ex that i couldnt pay the 300 pound a month,that wasnt declared so she could get credits,and offered 250....her new husband and her have mde my life unbeaarble at times....i really miss my kids..iv e seen them twice in 6 months..they r beggining to forget me because of her..she turns them against me and i cant cope....

[guysach]

this happened to my mate loved his kids and the mother played games..if you take her to court and she plays dirty it will cost..my mate �10k debt and still cant see his kids...but mate �300 to look after 3 kids...my mate paied �350 for 2 but his wage may have been higher than yours

[Beanmistriss]

Tamborine - you make me mad. it is not the reaponsibility of the absent parent to cater for every need and whim of a child - and who has that amount of money?! The parent with care has as much responsibility for providing for the children. People should not have to buy the affection of their children and children should not have to know about their parents financial affairs. It's so sad that people can not just behave like grown ups and put their children first. Also there are useless mothers out there too who give up work, don't pay and will avoid paying at any cost!

Stevie - if you were to pay for your kids you would pay 15% of your take home pay for one child and 5% for every other child - so with three you would pay 25% of your wages. ts really important to make sure you pay her in a way you can prove. Pay direct to her bank. If she won't agree then contact the csa and arrange to pay through them. She would then loose money if she is on benefits - so it may make her think a bit about how much access she wants to give you?

[annie0000]

As I read it, stevie is paying �300 a month on top of what she officially gets from him,

[tamborine]

the mother's hands are full rearing the kids - little spare time to work. stevie has more time and earning-power.

Fathers with daily contact with their kids can confirm that 3 kids keep cost a lot more than stevie's input.

stevie - you sired 3kids; they need maintaining - so put your strength into doing that!