Children partners

[mrs-astley]

I've been with my partner for over 3 years after being seperated from my daughters father for 4 years. Life has been difficult, we bought a house to do up and have got in a lot of debt, all in his name and had alot of rows. I think I have over reacted to a lot of the rows & left him a couple of times but now we are selling the house and planning a happy future, however my 14 yr old says she doesn't want to live with him, doesn't even want to see him and she wants to live with her older sister who has lived with their dad for the past 3 years. I love him and my daughters, it's tearing me apart. My partner is standing by me and wants to help get them back into our lives.

[ummmm]

It could be just a phase or thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

[caththecrazy]

Perhaps your daughter wants some stability in her life. You say you've left him a couple of times so she is probably thinking it will happen again.

Maybe when she sees that you have turned the corner she will change her mind particularly as your partner wants to have a relationship with them.

Might be a case of slowly slowly.

Good Luck

[tamborine]

Let her go.....she's old enuf to choose where she wants to be - she'll respect you more for your generosity. She/you can visit.

[Schlomo78]

Hi Mrs-Astley, if I was you, and her Dad agrees, then I would let her do it. At that time of life a lot of girls can get seriously confused (I for one) but I don't imagine it would last long. Maybe she could just stay with her Dad for a couple weeks, I bet she would soon miss home and want to be back with you. If you haven't (or she won't) sit down and talked to her about it then let her see for herself what she wants to do. If she wants to stay then it may be sad for you, but you know she will be looked after well, and you can somewhat concentrate on your other kids. I know it's hard, but she probably wants to be with her older sister, at least for a while!
Hope this helps.
All the best
;) x