Food & Drink0 min ago
Pants by Nick Sharratt
14 Answers
My 6 year old son has got to do a talent show on Friday and the only thing I can think for him to do is recite a funny poem. Can anyone quickly give me the words to 'Pants' or give me a link that has it written down - many thanks, one stressed mum.
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This is a monty Python poem called Horace
it is funny although there is a slightly rude bit in the middle which could possiblky be changed slightly for a 6 year old to recite or he could even recite some of the poem
Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Horace ate himself one day.
He didn't stop to say his grace,
He just sat down and ate his face.
"We can't have this his Dad declared,
"If that lad's ate, he should be shared."
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes...
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late, for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh! foolish child!" the father mourns
"You could have deep-fried that with prawns,
Some parsley and some tartar sauce..."
But H. was on his second course:
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue;
"To think I raised him from the cot
And now he's going to scoff the lot!"
His Mother cried: "What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept, her son was seen
To eat his head, his heart, his spleen.
And there he lay: a boy no more,
Just a stomach, on the floor...
None the less, since it was his
They ate it – that's what haggis is.
it is funny although there is a slightly rude bit in the middle which could possiblky be changed slightly for a 6 year old to recite or he could even recite some of the poem
Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Horace ate himself one day.
He didn't stop to say his grace,
He just sat down and ate his face.
"We can't have this his Dad declared,
"If that lad's ate, he should be shared."
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes...
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late, for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh! foolish child!" the father mourns
"You could have deep-fried that with prawns,
Some parsley and some tartar sauce..."
But H. was on his second course:
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue;
"To think I raised him from the cot
And now he's going to scoff the lot!"
His Mother cried: "What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept, her son was seen
To eat his head, his heart, his spleen.
And there he lay: a boy no more,
Just a stomach, on the floor...
None the less, since it was his
They ate it – that's what haggis is.
Found it on You Tube - except I couldn't quite catch all of it. Can someone help me fill in the blanks?
New pants, ????, Lighting up the night pants
Pants to pick a daisy - is that right?
Pants on your head, you call it crazy - is that right?
Have you seen these bunny pants - is that right?
You probably think I'm mad! The lengths we go to, to help our kids with homework! TVM.
New pants, ????, Lighting up the night pants
Pants to pick a daisy - is that right?
Pants on your head, you call it crazy - is that right?
Have you seen these bunny pants - is that right?
You probably think I'm mad! The lengths we go to, to help our kids with homework! TVM.
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