worried about neighbours little girl

[aims1202]

I am really worried about the little girl who lives in the flat above us and not really sure what to do about it. I know the family quite well, they are friendly, have two kids 10yrs and 3yrs and their children play with mine, both mum and dad appear to be nice people, they help us out and we do the same for them.
But what i hear through the ceiling is very different and worries me a lot, especially as it seems to be getting worse recently. The younger girl crys a lot, i would say every evening i hear her crying for a long time and I often hear the dad in what i would say is a rage and it seems to be aimed at the little girl, he shouts very loud and i have heard what sounds like he's throwing things. Ocassionally its made me jump with fright when i hear him its so loud and the little girl is screaming and crying. The other night was the worst i've heard, i was actually woken up by him shouting and, then a loud bang at the same time the girl was crying and screaming i'm sorry daddy, i'm sorry daddy, i love you daddy over and over, she sounded terrified, i could hear it was about her wetting the bed. I was so upset by this that i now feel i should do something but just not sure where to turn. I am not sure if i should be poking my nose into other peoples lives and i don't really know what is going on as i only hear little bits, but on the other hand if that little girl is being harmed in anyway i have to do something to help her. Any advice really appreciated.

[suzie1]

u have done the right thing, thank you for looking out for the poor little girl.x

[lucca]

Aims, you say you contacted NSPCC who said they'd pass it on to Social Services. It makes me mad that NSPCC do this - they have the facilities and groups etc for anger management, parenting difficulties etc so they don't need to pass it on. This way, however, they keep their wonderful image and SS will get the flak, aggro, distress etc from approaching the family. Of course, SS have made plenty of serious mistakes but in the past I have had professional contact with 3 NSPCC inspectors and I wouldn't want any of them cleaning a cat litter tray, let alone investigate possible child abuse. Their favourite line was "We'll support you if you have to take action". Grrrrr.

[aims1202]

lucca, i'm not sure what you mean, do you think i did the wrong thing calling the nspcc? I didnt really know who else i could call and not give my name. I didn't think they would refer to ss but maybe they have to just in case its worse than i think? She did say it might be that they will just have the health visitors support. i hope i've done the right thing.

[lucca]

Aims - I 'm sorry if I gave the impression that you had done the wrong thing. You did the RIGHT thing and I imagine it was hellishly difficult to make that call. There MAY be some kind of reasonable explanation for what's going on but I'm not sure what! Hard to balance not wishing to interfere with a genuine fear for a child's safety. My rant was directed entirely at the NSPCC for passing the buck - if there's major trouble in that family, social workers will get hell whilst NSPCC can smile benevolently and say "Oh yes, we acted immediately". I really hope the situation is resolved and you don't feel guilty - as everyone says, you took the right step.

[Whoever]

Yes, the father may probably guess it was you who reported it, but if he has been physically or emotionally abusive and has an anger problem, it's highly likely that his wife is torn between her loyalties to her daughter and her loyalties to her husband and doesn't know how to deal with the situation. So a third party coming in and taking the difficult issue out of her hands may well turn out to be a blessing in that he is now forced to deal with the problem.

[brenda]

aims1202---- sorry to carry on this distressing post--- but are you O.K.?

What has been the outcome of your actions , if you are able to say?

Just don't want you to feel bad-- you have a lot of support here .Good luck Brenda.

[rachael88]

wen me and my 2 sisters were younger my dad used to shout at us all the time for the least little thing as we got older we found out he was takeing medication to keep him calm and we also found out he had arthuritis top to bottom and he also had ingina , so thefather might be a bit of a stresed head and he is takeing it out on the kids and it might not be as bad as it sounds cos my lil sis used to cry and scream all the time but if u are worried about it ring child line or social services right away..