supervised contact in a center daughter wont go!

[sally76drop]

Hello

This is my first post and I need some advice.

Ok background
1 daughter (age 9) not seen father for 14 months last time he had committed domestic violence on me
In front of daughter, he is on a suspend sentence for ABH

Daughter stated to refusing to see him

Cafcass report saying she does not want to see him.
I have always said to Cafcass her and court if she wants to see her dad I will encourage it.

So supervised contact in a center was agreed

Took daughter and she refused to get out of the car, I got her in the center but she was crying and screaming so much they told me to take her home.(without seeing her father)

She has told me that she will do it again if I take her again.

We are due again next week what should I do
Not take her and wait for her father to take it back to court or force her even though she will kick and scream.
She gets so distressed

[sally76drop]

its what he and the court has said "he is the father he has rights"
does not matter that she does not want to see him and she is wetting the bed etc
what he wants he gets (he has money and a good qc)

[katerich48]

At the end of the day - really, what sort of a man would insist on putting his daughter through this every time - I say take her (to prove its not you thats objecting) and let her kick and scream until him and the courts get the message she doesn't want to see him and it's entirely his own fault.. It's nothing more than another form of cruelty....He sounds charming not really the type of man who would be interested in a daughter - unless its to benefit him in some way - or possibly to get back at you?

[sooze1964]

Hi, I really sympathise with you problem. I too split up from my ex partner last year due to domestic violence and we have a 5 year old son. The cafcass report stated that they didnt recommend the father had contact with our son until he had gone for drink and anger management. This was agreed by him and accpeted by all. It was never followed up tosee if he attended. During this time I agreed to contact via solicitors and our son appears happy with this, however, if ever there came a time when he didnt want to visit then I would not push him at all and let the father take me back to court. If cafcass really are doing thier jobs properly they should listen to the view of the child, I dont want our son to lose his dad but, I dont want him to grow up feeling that I forced him into doing something he didnt want to do. I feel that your daughter will decide to see her dad when SHE is ready, and I wouldnt force her, she needs mum to be on her side right now, so dont alienate her. Give her a cuddle to let her know she is always safe with you. Good luck. xx

[R1Geezer]

This is child abuse, end of. You are forcing your child to do something against her will. No court would order this. Are you completely raving mental? Forcing a child out of the car is in itself assault. Personally I'm amazed social services are not involved here. The child cannot be forced end of.

[zzxxee]

tell the centre that is causeing her to much distress and you need to review the contact details

[oldmaggie]

If a contact order is place you are in a difficult position. Parents who do not take the child to contact are now warned that they face custody if they do not comply. You must get back to family court and tell them what you have told us.