Family Not Visiting

[numnum]

I've been moaning to my partner for a couple of months now.

We've moved back to the area all our family stay. I manage to go an see his side of the family a couple of times a week, as we all have children the same age. I'll go running round if they call and say they haven't seen my daughter for a few days but they never come to our house.

What makes me madder is I'm the one thats never uses their mum for baby sitting, I don't have babysitters on my side of the family, i've never asked for help nor do i need it, their men are home 8 months of the year so they have an extra helping hand at home, my man works nearly everyday of the month. We all work similar amounts of hours yet I'm the one running around like an eejit. I've managed to set up my own business whilst preggers and suffering morning sickness and I still manage to visit them

Whats also made me come on here and ask for advice is that at Christmas all the family were like you'll need to come along and see the wee ones santa toys. So i just thought it was a family tradition so went round my b/f family as he was working and not one person has come to see my daughters stuff and it doesnt look like they'll be round anytime soon. So her santa toys are now up in her room

It just gets me angry as there quite happy for me to mess up my daughters routine, pack lunches to go to their house, trek out in all weathers but they wont come here

[Androcles]

Why are you putting yourself though this? Just don't go running around after them. If they complain say you are too busy!

[numnum]

I could understand if i had a horrible, dirty house or it wasn't safe for babies but its all been newely decorated its always clean so theres no excuse. i have everything they would need to cater for their baby

i would just love for my daughters little cousins to come here for a change and play with her toys rather than her getting dragged to a few different houses before lunch

i've stopped visiting for a month or so and when they've seen me there like oh we've not seen you for ages or my daughter like its my fault!!!

what annoys me even more is their gran stays across the road and they'll go and see her and i sit and watch them go in, go out and drive right past my house

we all live within a couple of miles of each other

i just don't know what to do, i've even thought if they don't want to come in then even if they dropped their kids off here for an hour so my wee one can have friends round here

[numnum]

i know, i really should. i'm such a wimp and i really like to have my daughter seeing people and getting out and about

i tried my 'visiting strike' but i felt that bad for my daughter as she wasnt' seeing anyone. i do my best to amuse her with painting, drawing, story time etc etc but theres only so much you can do to amuse them and she's at that age now where her and her little friends are aware of each other and play alongside one another now

[brenda]

You aren't doing yourself any good going on about this. New year resolution --as Androcles has said stop all the running around. visit them say once a week , stop peering out of the curtains to see if they visit Gran and get on with your life for goodness sake. Check your area for playgroups and stuff where your child might go.and so on.You are just letting yourself be put on at the moment ,so do something about it , a moaning Mum is no good for a child.

[k8bailey]

This might sound silly but have you tried inviting them round to yours?

[pericat]

When they say 'we havent seen you for ages' - you say 'you can always come and see me'. Get your daughter mixing with other children who are not 'family'

[society]

Maybe your boyfriend's family don't like you???

[Whoever]

Your boyfriend's family do seem rather self-centred, and I suspect you are not very assertive. Remind yourself that you have a life of your own, and stop being so accommodating. Invite them round for coffee, tea or something, and if they don't or won't come, that gives you the message that you're welcome in their lives but only on their terms and on their home ground. Once you made the effort, it's then up to you to shape your own life and stop feeling that you're always bound to accommodate their needs without it being a mutual arrangement.