11 year old girl having problems sleeping

[sfulton]

Hi, my niece, a bright 11 year old girl, is having trouble sleeping at night - just before bedtime she gets was she describes as "bad feelings" and can get very upset. She can't put into words what the problem is - it's obviously nothing specific, like bullying. Anyone any ideas how her Mum could break this cycle. She is a very deep thinker.

Thank you

[20SilkCut]

Art is a very good medium for a child (or in fact anyone) who just doesnt have the words to voice a problem. Maybe mum and daughter could get into a regular phase of drawing in late afternoons or evenings and giving the child 'free rein' to express themselves whilst in the safe company of mum. Talking with the child afterwards about their 'picture' or 'drawing' may then bring forth any worries that the child is holding inside. Let the child take 'ownership' of their picture and dont try to force any explanations about what has been drawn.

Is the child having nightmares maybe....have there been any big changes in the household recently? (no answers required, just things which may explain why the child is having the 'bad feelings' she described).

good luck.

[karenmac60]

I've given this answer before, but there's a book called Blame My Brain by Nicola Morgan which is aimed at adolescents and their parents. It explains how brains change around puberty and how it makes kids feel and think in certain ways and can help them to understand why they have feelings of anxiety etc.
http://www.amazon.co....qid=1266183712&sr=8-1

[brenda]

Nothing wrong at her school is there?

[Pottyone]

My 6 year old son gets very deep and maudling at bedtime if he is over tired. He is a deep thinker too. COuld she just be over tired. Not that that makes her worries ok, but maybe some kids are just like that.

[sense4all]

The book recommended is a good insight for Mum to understand what maybe going on. Also a rush of hormones at seven and eleven may make some children susceptible to feelings of extra anxiety, or they suddenly are pushy/shovey, testing the boundaries, acting out etc etc.
Well done to Mum for spotting this, it may make the child feel odd and different and unique at the exactly the time they just want to be the same as everyone else - gotta love biology.
I have three of the little darlings two have emerged from "the dark years" one to go - but now they are twelve we are in back in the same boat. Just be honest and reassuring where possible citing facts from history to back up what you are saying. My friend's son became fixated with all current war news stories and it was a tough time. Pre-empting what you think they might ask you can help you to have a satisfactory answer to hand, or don't be afraid to say I have honestly never thought about it - can I get back to, but make sure you do, kids rarely forget. If they don't get the answer from you they might seek it from their peers - and that can mean you end up in very interesting ( but not usually fact based ) territory. Also I have bought some of those little worry dolls that they have in Oxfam for when my daughter just wants to say something out loud and then forget about it.