Home Alone

[cocopops]

At what age can a child be left home alone for a few hours or a whole day?

[Le Chat]

I sometimes leave my 13yr old son for the odd hour here and there. After all, he walks home from school or catches a bus on his own and walks into Southport town centre to meet with his friends on a Saturday.

[annie0000]

Depends on a lot of factors - childs temprament, the length of time, the time of day and where you live. Only you can judge that, but I don't think what you are suggesting sounds unreasonable at all. I think that all these things need to happen in increments, just like when you allowed them to go out to play. i.e. toddler - in garden with supervision, Age 4/5 - in garden watched from inside, out of garden - supervised, 6/7/8 - out of garden - watched from window etc etc. that way we are able to assess and risk rate what we allow them to do. Times have changed and we no longer know or necessarily trust our neighbours and often live many miles from family so can't rely on them. However, I am the youngest of 7, I often went home on my own at lunchtime from the age of 9ish to an empty house that was unlocked all day and made my own lunch. If I was ill I stayed at home by myself and never ever had any holiday care - sometimes my older siblings would be around, sometimes not. There was a bit of an age gap between them and me so by that age they were mostly out working or had left home. I also clearly remember looking after my two year old nephew for a week during the school holidays while his Mum was in hospital having his baby sister and everyone else was working - I would be 14 at the time. This was 30 years ago, but the world has not really changed that much in terms of danger for kids. We have as a nation become much more protective of our kids, which isn't a bad thing, but we are in danger of having 15 year olds that can't cross the road by themselves which can't be healthy.

[LoftyLottie]

Good posting Annie. My mother worked part ime from when I was nine - it was necessary. I am an only child. I must admit to being surrounded by neighbours, but I was left alone during school holidays while she worked, as were most of us kids. Admittedly this neighbourliness seems to have disappeared these days, so families are more isolated.

I see more danger nowadays from traffic than anything else. We could play outside safely. There is no more danger for kids these days - we just hear about it more and the media have whipped up a frenzy about paedophilia and child abuse. It hasn't increased and most child abuse comes from within the home and family.

We must protect our kids the best we can, as you say, but they need to develop and grow up and, although well meant, some parents are not being fair to their children.

[annie0000]

Hi Loftie - I defenitely depends on the child, but i think the feedom gave us more confidence. I have only just managed to wean my 9 year old off getting collected from school - we live about 200 yards from the school gate with no roads to cross, but his 8 year old brother has been happy to run back by himself for at least a year. Having said that, my older son did have a long standing bullying problem so liked me to be there for him and I was happy to do that. I will probably get shouted down here now, but I regularly let them go swimming by themselves (well together really!) - I drop them off and pick them up and have let them go into the cinema by themselves as well.

[LoftyLottie]

I think you are wise Annie (as I think along the same lines).

My son went off to Malaysia at just 16, after 0 Levels and had a month based at his friends home. However, during that time they did loads by themselves, including trips away to other areas, mountain climbing and white water rafting, organising their own hotels, travel etc. Admittedly he is/was sensible, but I knew he could take care of himself. I really worry about 16 year olds that are unable to cope on their own.

But each to his own, and I wouldn't criticise others.

[tamborine]

When its responsible enough to get to school unaccompanied.

[ELVIS68]

well said tam

[slc123]

It something almost every parent will have to decide. At what age do you decide to leave your child home without supervision?

Kids at daycare centers are under constant supervision because of their young age. Workers at the University Hospital Child Development Center do everything from helping them learn to watching them play.

But when they grow up, their parents will one day decide when to leave them home alone without supervision.

Director Sally Rich has some tips.

"If they're not comfortable enough in the house by themselves, then you don't need to leave them alone. If they're having nightmares or just uneasy about it, you don't leave them alone," said Rich.

Georgia law makes it pretty clear. Between the ages of 9 and 12, you can leave a child alone for up to two hours. Age 12 and up, no more than 12 hours at a time.

In South Carolina, there are no set laws, but officials say no child under 8 should be left alone.

The experts say the key is to prepare your child early to stay home alone... even as early as five years old and even though that decision may be several years away.

But for some, there is no hard and fast rule. It all depends on the maturity level of the child.

Brenda Wallace, a mother and daycare worker says "Some people have children as young as 10 or 11 who they know are mature enough to stay home alone. They know not to answer the phone and not to go to the door."

And some parents say don't leave children alone until they know how to handle an emergency. In short, child care workers urge parents to use simple common sense.