fiirst girlfriend, when should we have the sex talk?

[lotsafun]

hiya, my 9 year old came home yesterday and told me he has got a ''girlfriend'' who is the same age and just so happens to be the daughter of a friend. Although this is all sweet and cute and we know they havent even pecked on the cheek i am left to wonder when would be a appropriate age to talk about the birds and the bees to him.
At the end of the day i want kids to be kids as they grow up too quick nowadays and although i know nothing like that will happen (or at least it doesnt, not for a good few years atleast) im thinking shouuld i talk to him about it as you do hear of kids having kids. I know of a 12 year old who has just had her 1st baby and it would devestate me if we were in that position. Do you think i am being responsible or too overly paranoid about it? What age would you say is appropriate? thanks

[Old_Geezer]

It was my understanding that the best time is when they ask. And to give the level of information they are likely to be able to cope with.

(Not that I've had any of my own.)

[ummmm]

TBH....I have not had to have a talk with any of mine as they found it all out at school. I concentrate on having a talk about their morals and the rights and wrongs in how they treat people. I'm lucky in the fact that they tell me things....and I take it from there.

[jackthehat]

My son was a little younger than yours when I explained 'the birds and the bees' to him.....the look of incredulity on his little face was soon replaced by one of disgust and he couldn't bring himself to talk to me for 2 whole days !!! :D

[ummmm]

Is he an only child?

[sophie_1003]

Old_Geezer, agree with that but whereas I asked "Where do babies come from?" at about 5 years old and found out the basics then, my brothers never asked and one found out what sex meant by looking it up in the dictionary!

[DEN53]

My son is 20 and still has'nt brought a girlfriend home - do you think I have left it too late to have 'the talk' (:0 (

[annie0000]

My boys are a similar age and whilst I would imagine that this new relationship for him is nothing as serious as requiring a talk, we have never really hidden the facts of life. We have always had kids books about sex as well as books about how our body works etc available in the bookcase for them together with books about dinosaurs and anything else they might be interested in, we've answered questions as they came up as well.

I maybe wouldn't go with a full blown talk, but maybe try to suss out how much he is aware off when you are chatting to him in general about his new girlfriend.

I don't know if it just coincidence or not, but my two don't really seem particularly interested in the opposite sex yet. They both had girls they liked when they were 5 or 6, but seem to be more interested in lego, fighting and star wars at the moment!

[lotsafun]

inj answer to ummmm, no he has a sister whos 2. I think i might just do what has been suggested and leave some books about, he has seen that programme one born every minute on channell 4 so i think he knows the basics and how babies are made etc. thanks for your replies everyone :)

[karenmac60]

When my daughter was about 5 I got a book out of the library called Mummy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole. It is meant for younger readers and takes a very light hearted approach to the subject. We had a really good laugh reading it together and she seemed satisfied with that information.

[zzxxee]

i remember my daughter aged 10 saying she had a "boyfriend" IT LASTED 1 DAY LOL they will let you know when its time to have "the talk" answer the questions as and when they arise there is no need for a big sit down talk just keep the lines of communication open !!!

[piggynose]

only you can decide. my mom told me when i was 13, but it didnt make sense to me. so i didnt have the pleasure til i was a lot older than the average teen

[Greedyfly]

I knew very early on, before 9 defo. My mum was very open about sex and being a women etc... I think it was the right decision so early because I was sensible with boys and sex. I think its important to review it later on in life too, when teenage years begin maybe. She always said she couldnt tell me what to do but she would always be there and would like me to talk to her before I made such a big decision. Sensible advice on her part I think.