What happens after the Appeal Process fails?

[LisaB]

We've recently moved back to the UK after several years abroad. The local secondary school is full, and my daughter (12) is being asked to attend a school which is over 5.5km away - much further than I'd like her to travel. She's already making herself sick with worry at the idea she'll be travelling by herself for over an hour each way, every day (local bus). We've appealed, and, unfortunately, lost the appeal (though still waiting to hear the reasons). I'm not just a paranoid mother - my daughter just simply doesn't have the street sense to undertake such a journey, and, with a second child about to start primary school, I'm not in a position to accompany her. There are no other children from this neighbourhood travelling that route - they're all at the local school. I'm loathe to let it drop. Any suggestions / advice gratefully received. Thanks!

[ummmm]

My daughter just simply doesn't have the street sense to undertake such a journey,

Now it's time to get some. She's 12, I'd be very worried if I had a 12 year old without any street sense. She might find it daunting to start with but after a couple of weeks she'll be fine.

My son walks 2.5 miles to school everyday. He's 11...

[LisaB]

I agree - but I think it's something she needs to aquire gradually! She's been bought up on a small Caribbean island. Great in many respects, but it's a baptism of fire for her to go from one to the other!

[buildersmate]

Take her on the bus journey a few times - preferably sooner rather than later. That way she will discover it is isn't as bad as she dreads.
That's what my mum did when I was eleven and switched schools to one 8km away, through London suburbs.

[chokkie]

When I passed my 11+ all those years ago, I just missed out going to the nearer of the two grammar schools because of my home address. It was ridiculous really. I had to walk about half a mile from my home to the bus-stop and then it was half-an-hour or so on the bus to the other school. My mum did it with me for the very first week and then I was on my own. And I had to come back home on my own too.

I don't think there's a whole load you can do. Perhaps you could try getting a doctor's certificate to show the local authority ... ?

Our two nephews live in North London and have to travel quite a long way on the underground to the other side of London every schoolday to get to their schools .....

Maybe you could give the journey a try with her during the school holidays?

[paddywak]

Like chokkie I passed my 11 plus many years ago and the nearest school was in Mansfield 11 miles away. On the day I started I left home ,by myself, at 07.30 to walk to the bus stop to catch the 08.00 bus with a piece of paper telling me where to get off. Fortunately there were several older boys going to the same school plus a few newbies like me and by the end of the day and made several new friends,most of whom I still see. As buildersmate says go with her for a couple of times to make sure she knows her bus stops and then leave her too it. Its surprising how resilient kids are it probabley wont be long before she's getting embarressed at mum hanging about

[saxy_jag]

Whilst I detest the idea of sending a child to school at all, let alone one you don't want them to go to. I have to say that my youngest was going across town on two buses at 11 years, and he was one of the most naive kids I've known. It sparked off a lifelong interest in transport (perhaps a little sad, but he does now have a pilot's licence) and, by the time he was 18, thought nothing of jetting off around the world on his own.

I have also spent many years teaching teenagers with learning disabilities how to travel independently - something they relished and for which their parents were almost always grateful. Indeed, after they'd left school they would often stop me in town and tell me where they were en-route to or where they'd travelled to - on their own. We're talking youngsters here who you'd never have dreamed would ever go any further than the corner shop by themselves. As one mother said, 'I was having kittens until she appeared back at the end of the street, but you can't be around for them forever, can you?'

Also, whilst your daughter doesn't know anyone on the bus route at present, she may well find that once she starts then she will find others on it from the school. When I was a girl, I went to a grammar school across town and was one of just a couple in my area to go there. By the end of the first couple of weeks we discovered there were half a dozen of us who lived on the same route but had never met before, and we mostly used to all ride home together. In fact, one of them lived on my nan's bus route. Forty years on, we're still best mates.

[LisaB]

Thanks everyone. I realise I probably come across as completely paranoid - and probably am to a degree! It does help to hear your advices though. Thanks for taking the time to read / post! I think I'll take her a few times during the summer hols and we'll see how it goes from there.

Cheers all! x