Writing my own will NOT appointing the childrens father as their guardian

[anneblessed]

I am about to undergo surgery for cancer (mastectomy) and even though I am assured this is a fairly safe procedure I am still concerned things can go wrong and so I want to write my own will. I am a single mum of two children aged 9 and 11 and do NOT want them to automatically have to go and live with their father in case anything happens to me as their father is very unresponsible, moves around a lot, has issues with alcohol and would not be able to look after them properly. I have a very good friend who has the means to support them, gets on great with them and has even offered herself to become their legal guardian should anything happen to me. Has anyone got any advice on how to write this will so that it's legal in the UK and so that in case the childrens father, should he decide to contest my will doesn't get the right to do so and get custody of the children? We are divorced, he has never asked for or demanded regular contact or shared custody of the children and even though I'm sure he does love them I cannot trust that he will put their best interests before his own unfortunately. The children themselves have also said they do not wish to live with him either, should anything happen to me. Any help or advice in this matter I'd be grateful.

[redcrx]

my advice, see a solicitor to get it written

hope alls well with op

[anneblessed]

I forgot to add, I'm earning just over the limit for getting financial aid for legal advice and cannot afford a solicitor so it's a case of writing the will myself...

[brenda]

You must be very worried at this time ,and anxious for your children which I understand full well.
I also know what it is like not to have the financial means to do what you wish to do.
Just a thought here-- would your friend who is willing to care for your children ,if the worst case scenario happens, be able to help with the cost of a will for you ,done by a solicitor.You may be able to pay her back in small amounts when all is well again.
A will by a solicitor does not cost mega-bucks , ring around to find out.
You may not wish to ask your friend , but needs must sometimes.
Please do not think that I am being impertinent in my suggestion , just thought it may not have crossed your mind.
I wish you well with your op , and a speedy recovery .Take care Brenda.

[bednobs]

hi, you cannot "will" children or leave them in a will to somebody. As far as i know, there is no legal way of making the request you want sure, as he is the kids dad, and therefore could decide he wants to live with them should anything happen to you

[redcrx]

honestly, if i were you i would do anything to pay for proper legal advice if i wanted something so specific in my will. Plus youll then know if your request is actually possible

[what..the?]

some solicitors esp family solicitors give 1 free hr of legal advice to anyone so maybe go in and take full advantage see what they say if it is still too expensive for them to act maybe get the advice to at least answer your questions regards you writing it yourself. You can buy pre packaged wills at whsmith I have one but not written it yet you need a pc at home to read the cd info, there is also the chance there is a small cost to get someone to agree it for you and sign when you have written it not sure?? Becasue there are so many important issues on this though I do think get the full legal advice as to if your own written will is sufficent when you get free hr of advice. Also i dont know if living wills are real or just from the tv/movies because sometimes I worry about my money going to the wrong party when I die and I think I will film myself saying the date and say to the camera what I want when I die but I dont know how binding this is?? If these living wills 'are' real but just not that binding as written I might do one on top of a written myself version from whsmith.

[27082002]

Get a solicitor, your children's father will if anything should happen to you. I hope you get well soon and good luck with the operation.

[icemaiden]

Please Please Please get a solicitor. I was in exactly the same situation as you and I thought it would be very straight forward but it is not. They throw all sorts of scenarios at you. I paid around £70.00 about three years ago, not sure what it costs now but it was money well spent. Please borrow beg do whatever to get the money, it is your childrens future that you are deciding here and you are obviously a very caring and loving parent to be thinking of this. Please do not take any shortcuts.

Good luck with the surgery. I hope it all goes well for you.
xx

[lobban]

I underwent the same op 7 years ago at the age of 25, and i came through it fighting fit, know this has nothing to do with question but thought i would tell you. You'll be fine and good luck with ur question. x

[boxtops]

anne, Wills are not expensive - and knowing that the document has been properly drawn up and witnessed will be a comfort to you. Your circumstances sound complex and you would want to be very sure that you are wording it correctly and that what you want is actually legally possible. I know you are doing this because of the op, but you should be doing this anyway - nobody knows what's round the next corner, and after your op you will still want to safeguard the future of your children. Everyone really should have a Will so your wishes are clear. Please see a solicitor, it only takes a few days and it is worth paying for.