Heirloom as an engagement ring

[kelbillug]

Hi everyone,
My boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage, but we're really trying to save for a house now. I have a diamond ring that was my great grandmothers that would make a lovely engagement ring, but is it common for the heirloom to be from the woman's side of the engagement? Ultimately, I don't care what others think if I use it, but I was wondering if others have done it or if it should traditionally come from the man's side of the family.

Thanks!

[NoMercy]

Would you go to a garden party at Buckingham Palace and take your own booze?

[sherrardk]

As long as you like it I don't think it matters. I would like to say that you seem to have your priorities right in saying that you are trying to save for a house. When we got married we spent loads on the wedding - with hindsight, it was a waste of money really (it was nice though!).

[rowanwitch]

He should buy it from you....just the act of him passing the money across even if it goes into your savings makes it ok.....a friends partner did this so she could wear her great grandmothers ring they could never have afforded anything so beautiful otherwise.... I think he gave her about £500 as cash for the trade as that was the amount he could afford... of course it went into the joint account

[momcj]

i dont see as that being a problem at all! Does he mind? infact i think it is very sweet, otherwise what will happen to the ring, be kept in a box? I think your great grandma would be honoured!

[4getmenot]

You say you have spoken about marriage. Has he actually proposed?

[pips1]

My engagement ring was made up from my gran's ring which was good but had no stones in, and my mum's which had diamonds but the ring had worn thin. The two together made a lovely ring so we were all happy. What made it more special was the fact that my grandad was a jeweller and had made my gran's gold band. When you are saving up every penny counts and I would rather have a ring with sentimental value than some of the cheap rubbish you see nowadays, plus they both had happy marriages so that was nice too!

[kelbillug]

Yeah, he did propose but it was three years ago (we've been together for four) and I felt it was just too soon. So the topic has now come up again. I haven't discussed my great grandmother's ring with him yet. I mentioned it to my brother's wife tonight and she felt my mom gave me the ring for this type of situation (She gave it to me about 7 years ago, before I'd met my boyfriend.)

[Meg]

Why not, if you like the ring and want to have your great grand mothers memory as a part of your relationship. Seems a good omen to me xx

[getonwithit]

lovely idea and you get to wear the ring everyday rather than it stuck in some drawer

[poodicat]

Girl at work gets married in november didnt want a engagement ring,she is getting a stone put in her wedding ring,think i have said that before..

[4getmenot]

probably was too soon if you still havent got round to it

[karenmac60]

I think it's a lovely idea, and if his pride is hurt that he can't buy you a ring follow Rowan's advice and have him buy it off you and put the money into your savings.

[Buenchico]

My idea is almost the same as Rowanwitch's yet totally different!

I also think that you should 'sell' the ring to your boyfriend in a formal transaction, so that he can then give it to you as a sign of your engagement (and, of course, of your love for each other). However I'd suggest that you should hold an 'almost-engaged' party where you call for everyone's attention and then offer him the ring for the price of a kiss. After he's given you a public snog (probably to cheers from your friends and family!), you can hand him the ring. It will then be his turn to go down on bended knee and formally propose to you ;-)

Chris

[jno]

I don't think there's any need whatever for money transactions. Having him buy it then give it back sounds for all the world like an MP's tax dodge. If you're both happy with it, wear it. Wonderful way to keep an heirloom in circulation.

[divegirl]

I was going to suggest selling it to him for a penny....but I like Chris' idea much more!

Lisa x

[rowanwitch]

me too... romantic and funny..nice one

[China Doll]

If you're happy with it and he's happy with it then I fail to see any problem. A ring does not the relationship make...

[coccinelle]

My friend had her husband to be's grandmother's engagement ring revamped to make it more modern, your boyfriend could pay for that transformation.

[bushbaby_de]

Is he likely to talk to either of you parents - ie ask your hand in marriage? If so maybe you could prep them to offer him your great grandmothers ring to propose to you with?