Sorry to read of your problems . Have you discussed your concerns with the home manager? That should be a starting point.Have you seen Mother's care plan?This will tell you what is going on -- maybe.
Tell the manager that from now on you want Mother to have her hair washed say twice a week , or whateverand that you expect this to be done.Does the home have a hair dresser?
With regard to the clothes problem , here the difficulty lies with the famililies of residents who do not label or mark their relatives clothes.In a large home it is impossible for the laundry person to know which clothes belong to a certain resident if there are no markings.
My OH is in a residential home ,all his clothes every item is labelled , so at the end of the week I collect up oddments from his wardrobe and drawers and return them to the laundry room.
AS there are only 3 male residents , one man well built , the other frail and slight and my other half average , I often write their names in with my marker pen , return them and they do not seem to appear again.
Will be flummoxed in this if they get more average size males in the future.
I do know how you feel and if you are not satisfied after discussion , then look round and move Mother.
My other half is now in his second home and all is well, his previous home was not that good , started off well , then staff changes and so it goes.
All the very best. Brenda.