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Is there anybody good enough for your daughter or son

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oscarina | 20:02 Mon 31st Jan 2011 | Family & Relationships
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Do you like your sons or daughters partners do you get on well with your in-laws. most parents are always sceptical or wary about their childrens partners should we just let them make their own choices for better or worse!!
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my youngest is only 13 and my 19 year old is "the chosen one" so no nobody is good enough lol
My seven year old has already decided who he is marrying and she wants to marry him. They are going to live in France! I like her and I am friends with her mam so that's ok by me. The others don't have such definite plans (although the oldest is only ten), but no one is going to be good enough for them.
I have three daughters, so of course, no man is ever going to live up to my expectations - that's just the way it is.

My eldest and youngest are both with really sound guys who love and look after them, and I have great relationships with them.

Our middle one's husband is somewhat 'difficult' but we are civil.

I have made it my business to be polite to all my daughters' boyfriends to their faces, and positive about them to my daughters behind their backs - and kept any reservations I may have had to myself.

My mother was deeply hurtful about my relationship with my wife when we started - because he was going through a divorce and had two children. We have been together thrity-one years now, so obvioulsy I was right, and she was wrong!

Being hostile about your childrens' choices in any area of life simply drives them away, so put your point quietly, and yes, let them make their own decisions, and be there which ever way those decisions work out.
my daughter is 5 and is going to live in flat. She is going to invite us round for dinner every Sunday. She's not going to smoke, have kids or a tattoo.
I like both my son and daughter's partners. Which is just as well - the son's daughter will produce my first grandchild in summer. My daughter's BF did give me cause for concern at the beginning of their relationship, but not now.

My parents didn't paticularly approve of my first husband and up until the day before the wedding, tried to talk me out of it. They were right... I should have listened. But their reticence only made me more determined - oh, the foolishness of youth. However, I got my 2 kids from it, so I can't say I regret the decision.

At the end of the day, I have to trust my childrens' judgement - I wouldn't try to interfere unless I had real concerns for their wellbeing, then I would try to talk to them, but choose my words carefully.
the son's daughter will produce my first grandchild in summer.

Did you make a mistake there Salla? :-)

I've never met my daughters BF and she lives with him. He seems ok...and she's smitten. Her Dad likes him. I will hopefully meet him in the summer as she's going to look after her brothers when we go to Glastonbury....I shall fly over to pick them up and stay for a long weekend.
Well spottedness of the deliberate mistake ummm.....

Son's girlfriend ;-)
Aren't you all lovely people. I like my son-in-law and feel sorry for him too. My daughter is a very good daughter, but she is also very difficult to live with. As long as I don't live with her she is perfect, but . . . .
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Our eldest son has had a few girlfriends since High School days.......he's 17 now... and all of them that we've met have been really nice. His current g/f is taking fashion modelling at his college and we saw her quite a bit over Christmas and The New Year.

He'll go on to meet his Miss Right when he's ready and when he does, he'll have our full support. He's off to New York on a college trip in two weeks time, so maybe he'll do what his Dad did and fall head over tit for an American girl. He's still young and has a good head on his shoulders, so i dont think he'll be in a rush.

Mrs Bear and I, and our other children are pretty much well easy to get on with so it does'nt take a lot for us to bond to someone.

It's the girls i will be looking out for and i hope the boys treat them ok or Daddy will be very angry.....lol
Definitely treat boys different to girls.

When my daughters BF dumped her I was fuming at him for hurting her. When my son dumped his GF I was fuming at him for hurting her...lol
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she sounds a nutter, Red!
I get on well with b/f parents. Infact there have been times when I think they have preferred me to him. :o)

When my Mums parents met my Dad, they hated him. I don't know why but they thought he was good for nothing. The disliked him so much that they refused to go to my parents wedding. Years later, they changed their minds and insisted that he call them Mum and Dad instead of using their names. After my parents got divorced my Grandad (Gran died) kept in closer contact with my Dad than my Mum and asked for my Dad to speak at his funeral, as well as some of his other children.
I took an instant dislike to my eldest daughter's fella when I met him, it turned out that I was right as he was an alcoholic, gambling idiot who knocked her about. She is now rid of him but has two children by him so still has to see him when he actually bothers to turn up.
my daughter's guy is ok, I suppose, but lazy!...his parents are pants!.......his Mum is a doormat, and his dad is a control freak!.........I hate them!........find it very hard to be anywhere near them!.............
My daughter is now with someone else, he seems to be OK and she says she is happy with him. So I have accepted that. Her soon to be ex-husband was OK and I feel sad that they have parted, and blo&&dy fuming that he has taken up with someone else. Not much I can do about it. My gr-daughter has had a bf for the past 3 years from school, I'm worried that they'll stay together and marry, she's 16 now and too young, they'll end up like brother and sister when they get to their 40's.
Well I guess the best answer would be the following:
It is not about you. You guide your children best you can and hope they make the correct decisions in life. If he or she seem right for you child then so be it even if the in laws are a bit weird.
Good Luck!
Gosh what a difficult question, my two daughters are in their thirties now, dating days were tough! but thankfully they both fond their match and are happily married, we as 'In laws' have to accept our new family member I feel and get along the best we can.

The joy is of course if you are lucky enough like me, grandchildren.
my daughter has a lovley partner, he used to be very quiet when they first got together bt since having a daughter a few years ago he has completely changed and he looks on my daughters son as his own and treats him better than his biological father does,(which isnt difficult, but thats another story!!)

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