HELP needed with a teenage son not going to school!!

[lauraking72]

My son is 15 and in yr 11, for the past few months we have had problems gettin our him to school, he keeps saying he feels sick so we caled his bluff and took him to the docs a few weeks ago and nothng was found!! He is not being bullied and he is quite well liked with lots of friends at school, we had started punishing him by removing his ipod,mobile and new xbox, now hes got to the stage where he dont care if he no longer has these luxuries. His dad works full time and shift work, i only work 4 hours a day 4 days a week so he is home on his own, i am really at the end of my teather with this and any help or advise will be greatly appreciated.

[LoftyLottie]

Good posting fairycakes. A lot of young people would benefit from leaving school earlier and going to work in my opinion. Young school leavers often succeed in life - work suits them better than school and they work hard and really achieve. School is horrific for some young people and I can understand why.

[I.Don No]

ask his school to get an educational psychologist on board

[albaqwerty]

My then 15 year old pulled this stunt. He left as soon as he could, tried college, that was a no go, he didn't like it. He then went on a training course and now has had a full time job for about 6 months and loves it. He's up at 5AM (yep, five AM) when trying to get him up for school was a nightmare.

Please stop the punishments and keep the lines of communication open.

My other son started this nonsense too and is now half way through his college course.

There is light at the end of a long dark nightmare-ish tunnel x

[milly143]

Sqad, you make me chuckle, even though I felt guilty about it. It's just the way you worded it.

Anyway, I was one of lifes losers. In my case, my parents were going through a very bitter divorce and I was miserable inwardly. Alongside the fact that I was simply no good at school so I just decided not to go most of the time. Either faking illnesses or just putting on my uniform, leaving the house and coming home at the expected times and just skipping the going to school bit in the middle. I think because he felt guilty about what the family was going through and he was overloaded with running a busy pub on his own, my Dad went softly softly on me. In fact i don't think he ever said anything. I ended up scraping through my GCSE's and at 27 am only now doing a job that requires any real use of my brain. I often wonder if my Dad had perhaps taken a harder line with me, I would have sorted it out. Who knows, but I think you really need to find out if there are other things going on you don't know about.

[LoftyLottie]

A very common thing for boys of this age and they still grow up to be fine people, except Sqad's son obviously.

[Sqad]

The trouble with this sort of thread, is that one only gets the success stories and it is a bit like Friends Reunited.............you never see..." I left school at 16, put a girl in the family way, couldnt get a job, moved from place to place, accused and charged with robbery, went to prison for 6 months.Now live on the streets, begging for a living."

It is always the success stories on AB.

We know how many go on to do well, but do we know how many dont, as in Friends Reunited.
The world has winners and losers and my definition of a loser is one who despite having the advantage of a good home and upbringing still decides to be idle.
That is MY definition.

NazNomad........another of your stupid remarks.

[NazNomad]

"NazNomad........another of your stupid remarks."

More of a retort, really.

[albaqwerty]

If they're living on the streets, it'd be a tad difficult for them to come on here and tell us surely?

[LoftyLottie]

So a boy of 15 who for a couple of months has a hang up about school and may well feel sick and upset about something is one of life losers and will end up on the street, getting girls pregnant, etc. etc. What a load of tosh and you don't even know the boy or his circumstances. And who said he was idle.

Not liking school is not a sign of idleness!!

As I said Sqad, my experience is not based on my son.

[supersuezy24]

albaqwerty you got in there before me ;)

[Barmaid]

Laura - your LA will have an EWO (Education welfare officer). They are the people who come knocking on your door when his attendance drops below a certain level. To try and nip it in the bud now, contact the school, find out who your EWO is and give them a call - they may be able to suggest helpful means of getting him to school. They appreciate parents who engage with them and really try rather than those who don't give a toss (and I put you in the former category, not the latter).

Sqad - honestly, despite your very helpful comments some times, you can be an insensitive sod. I was a "school refuser" from 16 to 18. I used to bunk off here there and everywhere. Failed my A levels as a result. Did OK after though!

[Sqad]

Barmaid......agreed.....we only hear about the successes and have no idea of the failures.

[Barmaid]

Agreed Sqad that we only hear about the successes and not the failures. In which case, it's a little earlier to predict that Laura has one of life's losers and she should accept this.

A more qualified statement would be one with which I could have had some sympathy.

[Barmaid]

*early*

[Sqad]

barmaid.....fair comment.

[netibiza]

What is a failure? I could be looked on as a failure, or a success, different things to different people!

[albaqwerty]

To be honest I once thought one or the other and sometimes both wpuldnt get their act together.

One is now 17 and the other 18 so I suppose it's early to say whether they're "successful" or not.

[Sqad]

netbiza.......I have already defined MY idea of a failure in that one who despite all the educational opportunities, decides not to partake and refuses to make any effort in his scholastic achievements.

This is my definition and I do not expect everyone to agree,

[Sqad]

redhelen....depends what you mean by bedside manner.........telling someone something that you don´t believe, just to make them feel better.

Never has been my scene I am afraid.