Coffee

[marval]

You know you're drinking too much coffee when

You sleep with your eyes open

You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth

You have to watch videos in fast-forward

You lick the coffee pot clean

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse

All your kids are named Joe
You don't sweat you percolate

When somebody asks you "how are you?" you say "good to the last drop

You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore

You think being called a drip is a compliment

You don't get mad you get steamed

Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London

You think CPR stands for "coffee provides resuscitation"

[starone]

hee-hee, loved them all except the one where your eyes stay open when you sneeze.(I read somewhere that this is impossible and if you did manage it you would die)

[sunny-dave]

.... all I have to say is "dishwasher" ....

[squarebear]

Urban myth starbuckone. Some people can sneeze with their eyes open. It's just a reflex action, like your leg kicking up when you bang your knee with a little hammer.