am i depressed

[rubes05]

i had my baby 5 wks ago. he is perfect in everyway. i love him so much but i dont feel that bond wiv him, like i should. my babies mean the world to me but i dont feel that rush of love as much as i should. i get really upset over the slightest things, i know you have the baby blues for a few days after the birth but its 5 weeks now, im in tears everyday, over nothing. i know my bf and mum are startin to get worried. iv got a visit from my health vsitor monday, do you think its worth mentioning?? i never had any problems wiv my first baby so i dont really know the signs of depression. are these the signs????????????? ta xxx

[Fionnuala]

No one can answer this question for you apart from your doctor or nurse. I strongly advise you to speak to them as soon as possible there are lots of remedies available. This is a very common illness and in no way reflects you as a bad mum to your baby, get help quickly and you will soon feel the benefits and enjoy your baby they grow up so quickly.

[redcrx]

baby blues can last a little longer than a couple of days. The stress of changing your life so dramatically can also leave you reeling for a while, along with lack of sleep, lots of visitors, coping with a new baby as well as other children etc etc.

Your health visitor is there to offer advice and help if you need it. Did she ever ask you questions about how you were feeling and coping? From what i remember this is usually done at about 4 weeks or so but I may be wrong.

They use a test called the Edinburgh test, theres a sample of it here http://www.testandcalc.com/etc/tests/edin.asp

whatever you do, please make sure you answer your HV honestly, if you are feeling down then please tell her.

If it does turn out that you have PND, sounds as if you may have a very mild form then there are plenty of ways to treat it and help you, not all involving drugs. Theres counselling to and it is a well researched illness now with many sources of help and info.

Plus its more common than many mums seem to realise, so youre not alone in feeling the way that you do.

[rubes05]

thank you. i think i might have pnd very mildly, but because its never affected me iv never really taken much notice about it. i will speak to my hv monday, ill let you know how i get on.
thanx

[Bohne]

I've only had one, but a friend told me that with her second baby, she had the feeling that she would never be able to love him as much as the first.
It took her a while, but I think she loves them both equally now.
Don't stress yourself about how you are 'supposed to feel'.
But do mention it to your health visitor.

[carjack]

I didn't have PND with my first baby but had it really bad with my second. I never had it with my 3rd or 4th. It is a horrible thing to go through but very common and easily treated. You have a child to look after now as well as a new baby so it will be more tiring than when your first baby was born. Try not to expect too much from yourself.As for not feeling that rush of love, your babies are different children and you won't love them both the same way, but that doesn't mean you don't love them both just as much. Your Health Visitor can be a mountain of support to you and has probably seen hundreds of new mums who feel like you do, so YES please mention it to her. No one is going to judge you. Your hormones are all over the place so it would be very unusual if you didn't feel overwhelmed at the moment.

You have a boyfriend and a mum to support you so just take it easy and try to get as much rest as possible.

XXX

[Bohne]

Hey rubes, how are you feeling in the meantime???

[rubes05]

hi
sorry dint answer bohne, comp has been down.
im feeling much better thanks,
i saw my hv last week, we did one of those questionaires about how im feeling, it was slighty higher then should be.
i see her again yesturday, did questions again and my score was much lower.
i do feel alot better than i did, it must have just been taking abit longer then i expected to ajust to having two littlens

[Bohne]

I'm glad to hear it and hope you are having lots of fun with your little ones!