I don't like dating!

[karmgirl]

Just got back from my blind date. He was a nice chap but I wasn't attracted to him and don't think we have much in common, we like same type of music and films but he is really into sport and I'm so not into sport at all.

We went to a golf driving range and had to hit golf balls at the targets. It was awful, I couldn't hit the ball very far and twice I missed the ball - I laughed it off and it was funny for a while but after 120 balls and not improving was slightly embarrassing :S Then we went for a few drinks.

I feel like a failure - he made most of the conversation and I couldn't think of anything to say really. :(

When he dropped me home he said we should do it again sometime and I said yeah I would text him but I don't think I want to do it again sometime :(

[LoftyLottie]

Never mind, put it down to experience! I can't imagine being taken to a golf driving range for a first date!! Please don't feel like a failure. This just wasn't the right person for you.

[joggerjayne]

Aww, too bad karmgirl.

And to make things worse, you'll have to move house cos he knows where you live !!!

x

[karmgirl]

Thanks lottie

I hate the fact that I will have to tell him now that I don't want to see him again. Should I just text him and say I just want to be friends?

And I was crap at the conversation but that is a lot to do with my Social Anxiety I think

[Barmaid]

karmgirl I should like to correct you. Don't think "I don't like dating" just think "i didn't like dating with that one so much, but the next one will be SOOOOOO much better.!"

Don't give up after one date, which all things said, was not really a disaster, just different.

I was always taught that if you fall off a horse, you get straight back on again - otherwise, you will never ride again. So that is what you must do. When the time is right. Just don't close the door to the possibility of another date with another man, and who knows, perhaps Mr Right.

[LoftyLottie]

No, just don't text him at all. No need.

[LoftyLottie]

And Barmaid gives good advice!

[Octavius]

Dear God! Who decided to go to a driving range for a first date?!

Nevermind pudding. As said, put it down to experience. It sounds like wherever he took you things might not have clicked at all, ever.

Don't feel bad about saying 'No' to any future dates, better he hears it sooner rather than later.

[Lakitu]

Awww that's a shame you didn't 'click' with him, however I think you SHOULD text to thank him and tell him you'd prefer to be friends, how many times have we sat waiting to hear from him and the bar steward never got in touch. I'd rather know either way anyway.

Agree with the others though, don't give up with the dating, it's fun even if nothing comes to fruition.

[Barmaid]

Sorry Loftie, I disagree. It is only polite to thank someone for their company. A simple text along the lines of "It was good to meet you. I have thought about what you said about meeting again, but I feel we have little in common. But thanks for a pleasant evening and I wish you every success". OK so that's pretty sterile, but courteous nonetheless. As the veteran of about a million dates (OK, so I exaggerate), I would ALWAYS communicate after a date however bad it was - if only to thank them for their time and then draw a line under it.

[Barmaid]

Must learn to type faster!!!!! About 5 posts have passed before I got round to posting this!!!!

[karmgirl]

When he asked me about doing it again though I said yeah I would text him, should I have told him straight then that I just wanted to be friends or something - tbh I don't think we could even be that I mean thats the first time I've met the guy even to just be friends would be weird maybe just cut the whole thing off?

How are you supposed to tell someone after a date that you don't want to see them again?

[Lakitu]

^ A woman after my own heart :o)

[Lakitu]

That was for Barmaid LOL.

Karmgirl, I'm a chicken and never tell them to their face I don't want to see them again, I rely on the trusty text message blush

[Barmaid]

karmgirl, don't feel bad about not saying you didn't want to see him again when he put you on the spot like that. It takes a very special (and probably quite blunt person) to say "no actually I don't think so". I consider myself quite straight speaking but I would like to give myself a bit of thinking time afterwards and would not want to be committed to an answer straight away.

Think of it as you just bought yourself some time to think about it!!!! Now just text him and say that you had a nice evening but that dating is not really for you right now or something!!!!

Then move on!!!!! Plenty more fish and all that!

[Octavius]

karmgirl I usually tell them straight after they refuse to invite me in for a nightcap.

Ok, I'm kidding there. Barmaid's approach is sound, you need to move on and he needs to realise that you are not interested. He will probably be more offended if you drag it out or ignore him, politeness and honesty costs nothing.

[Barmaid]

Lakitu is more honest than me. She says she is chicken. I am really, I just didn't admit it first up!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lakitu]

LMAO!!!

I knew I wasn't alone!

[joggerjayne]

Me too.

Complete fraidy cat.

[Barmaid]

So there you go karmgirl - there's 3 of us on one thread that have admitted doing EXACTLY what you have done. That ain't so bad, is it?!!!!!!!!!

[karmgirl]

Ok I will just put it down to a bad experience. I feel so bad for the guy though, he's already been rejected by my housemate now I'm going to reject him and he doesn't deserve to be rejected. :(

I will carry on dating - I don't see whats fun about it though its just a nerve racking scary experience if you ask me