Homeless??

[Meg888]

Hi. My brother is currently residing with my terminally ill mother in sheltered accommodation. I know he is not allowed to stay here, but he has no where else to go. He is my Mum's carer, although exactly how much he does leaves a lot to be desired. The warden of the premises know he is there and turn a blind eye for my Mum's sake. She doesn't strictly need to have 24/7 care, but she does need help with cooking, shopping, cleaning etc. She has a nurse who comes in to clean her, and she is mobile, though quite frail. She wants him to move out, but is terrified of upsetting him. He lost his last flat due to him not really living there (staying with my Mum); he hated it as it was a high rise block full of unsavoury characters. He owes no rent arrears, but has no money other than his weekly allowance he receives for being a carer. The family are not in a position to loan him the deposits etc required for private housing. To be fair he has tried, however, the council don't consider him a priority and we are not able to put him up as we have young children. He is listed as homeless, but this has been the case for about 3 yrs. It is a tiny 1 bed lat and he has to sleep on the sofa. My concerns are that he does not look after the flat as well as he should and he is quite sharp and snappy with my Mum, who treads eggshells not to upset him. If we try to talk to him, my Mum gets upset. If we want to take my Mum out or invite her anywhere, he has to tag along too, otherwise my Mum wont come for fear of upsetting him. We have to treat them as though they are a married couple. He is 40, never married and barely worked. It's obvious he chose to become carer to keep the DSS from insisting he gets a job. He's little more than a layabout, and my Mum is up to her eyes in debt pawning all she has to keep there heads above water. Its not the way to live out her days. Any suggestions on getting him out will be appreciated. Thanks in advance

[sandyRoe]

The warden of the sheltered accommodation may have turned 'a blind eye' but the housing association would take a different view. Report your brother to them if you want him out.

[China Doll]

If you don't want to work for a living then he should consider himself lucky being shoved in a high rise block full of unsavoury characters as at least he had a roof over his head and I'm not sure the council owe him any other duty of care since they did provide him with housing. If he won't go voluntarily then I would do as sandyroe suggested.

[Meg888]

I totally agree China, having worked since leaving school and funding my own independance, I too begrudge those who refuse to work for a living. I couldn't however, report him, I just don't have it in my heart. He is not a strong character and has absolutely zilch confidence - I just wish there was something we could do to get him out without leaving him homeless, as he has no friends either.

[joko]

if the place turns a blind eye could you not have a word and ask them no to? explain the situation and ask them if they would send a letter or something telling him to go...he need never know you requested it

[sandyRoe]

One further point. You may be doing your brother a favour by telling the housing association that he's living with his mother. You say she's terminally ill. There'll come a time when he has to leave that accommodation and it might be better that he goes now and not at a time of stress and loss.

[bednobs]

your mum might be telling you one thing and him another. She is a grown up woman, and i presume perfectly capable of asking him to move out if that's what she wants

[tamborine]

Your mum's choice is to nestle her son thru his difficulties; you're busy & cant spare the time bruv gives his mum. I'm sure sibling squabbles aren't helping your mum.

Bruv can remain in situ till HA evict him and HA might need to offer alternative accommodation before bruv agrees to move.

[Meg888]

Tambourine: my Mum has not made a choice to 'nest' him, she allowed him to move in temporarily as he had no where else to stay. It's not that me & my sister are too busy, we take her to all hospital appointments for treatment (this has been daily for the past two months) as well both of us working full time keeping a young family & house. My brother has worked in legitimate employment for approx a month in the past 20+ yrs. The housing assoc do not have to offer him alternative housing prior to wanting him out as it's sheltered accomodation for the aged & infirm, therefore, they can just threaten him & my mum with eviction should they wish. I posted this on here for some sensible answers, don't bother to respond unless you can answer sensibly.