Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Good evening a welcome to all members of the Mad Over Fifties club. we have a packed programme of events for tonight. The Minstrels are in the gallery warming up for their usual round of madrigals and toccatas and in the ballroom our favourite local band the Tone Deafs are warming up for an evening of sixties covers! Our tailcock this evening is the "Tiny Teddy" named for the newest member of our family Teddy the kitten! Tonight's hot plate special is Bangers and mash with onion gravy, and on tonight's pudding trolley we have strawberry tarts with Chantilly cream (Queenie was busy making the cream before she scooted off to the speedway) For your further entertainment in the vestibule we have Dr Zonko and Hilda (his beautiful assistant) with amazing magic tricks and lion taming!
The hot tub is on the north tower bubbling away the mini bar has been replenished (thank you Igor) The bungee still has plenty of bounce in it!
Both swimming pools are ready for members use (cosies are available in the changing rooms), the rowing boats are lined up on the shores of the lake, and the race track has been re-laid and the cars revved ready to use.
The gardens are looking splendid and the barbecue down on the beach are all set the arrival of our members.
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals

Carriages at midnight

[tonyav]

Good evening your nungateship, a bucket of 'Tiny Teddy' if you please and a plate of bangers and mash to go with it ( no gravy though, thanks ).
For the roffle I only have one prize this week and it's a pair of 225 x 45 x 17'' Continental Sport Contact tyres 0.5 millimeter of tread left on them.

[nungate]

Evening Tony, sorry I'm a bit late, had to dash to the kitchen to feed a cat, opening tins can be difficult when your hands don't cooperate.
Igor will be along presently with your refreshments,

[Igor61]

Good evening Sir Tony, I have your plate and your drink. I did not add the gravy ...

[tonyav]

Thank you nungate, I'm gutted that your new addition to the family isn't called Jasper though.

[tonyav]

Thank you Igor, your chains are looking exceedingly sparkly tonight.

[Igor61]

Please excuse Madame, she has to go feed the kitten now ......

[DaisyNonna]

Evening nungate. Hi Tony. A Tiny Teddy sounds intriguing. Is it a pair os pasties and a thong? Never was up to the minute on undies.
For the rifle I have :
A thingummy that joins a doodah to the whatsit. An oojit which may be part of a gizmo and a dingus what is a complete mystery. All six may be one prize or split between unwary winners.
Nearly forgot the DIY dictionary.

[DaisyNonna]

Also have a whatjamacallit as a booby prize.

[DTCwordfan]

Good evening all......and sundry.

What do we have in the piffle bag tonight?

One sprinter's shoes, one running spike, helps the runner go backwards
One warped snooker cue, owned by Steve Davis, no tip
One Cricket Bat, undetectable hotspot edges, no splice
One Curling stone, no handle
One pr of Jessica's shorts
One javelin, no point
One Hammer, no chain or nails
One hurdle with no nail, one (empty champagne glass)
One bucket for filling the swiimming pool.
One Kirin - no gas bottle.
One Athletics singlet branded, "The Naked World Championships"
One bell, no clanger, used for deaf races
One pistol, no trigger, three dum-dum bullets
One ski
and a left handed Pole vault pole.

[nungate]

Apologies for the paws! (pun intended) You feed one cast then the others want feeding, it's like painting the Forth Bridge!
Good evening Daisy, nice flight tonight? A tiny Teddy is named after the new kitten in our lives, it seemed appropriate, he's so tiny and is named after the old gentleman who found him and his mum and siblings, he is so sweet but very shy (I hope that continues as I couldn't tolerate another juvenile delinquent such as Queenie's two boy cats)
I loved the lingerie reference though ....

[nungate]

Hello DT, my what an abundance of riches you have on offer tonight. I like the sound of the left handed pole vault pole since I am a leftie myself but, as I'm not a Pole it might just languish in a cupboard somewhere ....
Drink?

[Igor61]

Good evening Madame Daisy, I've brought you a Tiny Teddy (not the underwer kind the drinking kind) I wouldn't want anything to be misunderstood

[tonyav]

Evening Daisy and DT, some interesting prizes here tonight.

[DaisyNonna]

Does he speak English DT?
Have always had a soft spot for pole vaulters. Thighs you know.

[DTCwordfan]

please, one of your ursus tailcocks please, I am sure it is most bearable.....

[nungate]

Not averse to some nice firm thighs myself Daisy

[DaisyNonna]

Igor, thank you so much. No misunderstandings between us. You look very shiny tonight. A new polish? (Not Polish) Straight talking only.

[Igor61]

Your tailcock Mr DT sir ....

[tonyav]

Used to be pretty good at pole vaulting in my school days Daisy, well thats when I could get them to stand still.

[DTCwordfan]

Have some fun with this then....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGqiKbkvz6w