Long Time Friendship

[Connemmara]

not a question here - but last week my other friend and I sat a little party for another friend's 70th birthday in restaurant. This has no bearing but said friend has become very very big and really has no command of herself. She no longer walks but waddles but this is to be expected since she sits in a chair and doesn't move from morning to night. However she does receive sporadic visits from sister and nieces (she has never been to their houses) (they make sure they come in droves) cos this friend never never never stops repeating herself and has been doing so for the last 20 years and we have said Oh yes you have told us that before but she refuses to take a hint. Her son who lives with her is doing everything for her so she lives in this fantasy world.

She has no friends to go out only ME nobody wants to go with her over this repetitiveness and to be honest I can no longer stand it. I need to take nerve tablets when I come home from an outing. Over the years the outings are very scarce but I am feeling guilty. I have a lot of friends to get round and feel guilty when she is not there but my other friends can no longer stick her.

She has a daughter in America and for 2 years this daughter seems to have shut her out of life and does have 5 grandchildren. So last week on her 70th birthday - she screamed about this daughter and repeated over and over why does my daughter not contact me (I don't know why) this went on for 6 hours. I now dread the scarce outings. Manys a time in the past she would have come to my house and stayed from Friday to Monday which was like a weekend to her but I could not cope with those. We have told her loads of times she is repeating herself but overtalks you. She wearied me so much last week and my other friend cos her we went overboard to try and give her a nice birthday but she was so engrossed in the daughter - I know she did not enjoy the dinner - God forgive me - she is a kind person.

[Maydup]

Awww Conne you are a good friend to her, don't feel bad about finding her exhausting. The anxiety about not seeing people especially her family will make her repetition worse, but the more she repeats herself, the more they stay away. Do you think she might have the early stages if dementia? Is she forgetful too?

[Connemmara]

dementia has occurred but no - she has been repeating for more of her life and it is so embarrassing.

I had a lady actually came into toilet (smoking) in a no smoking area and said - Conne - your friend never stops talking.

That same night there were only about 9 people at the bar - she went round ever one of the to talk to them and they blanked her - in not answering her back. God I was so embarrassed. You know Maydup I have enough baggage in my own life, with the dog, two brothers quite ill, coping with sister's bereavement - I do need this like a hole in the head. But you know she can be selfish as she very rarely asks oh what is happening in you life.

[ummmm]

She's 70. Grin and bare it.

[Connemmara]

Ummmm through gritted teeth LOL

[pixie373]

Can only suggest keeping visits short and sweet. Tell her you only have an hour.
Love the way you type, conne. "has no command of herself"- I'll have to remember that one!

[Connemmara]

LOL - did you know what meant. We had to get her into a wheel chair taxi - it was the one that came along and my skinny friend had to get her ass and shove it up to the top seat. and I said to my skinny friend you had better get out first cos she going to slide out which she did. She does suffer from epilipsy and shouldn't be drinking either.

[pixie373]

Oh dear. Your phrase is beautifully self-explanatory. I'll be using it every day, if you don't mind...

[Connemmara]

lol pixi what phrase would that be as I do have loads

[anneasquith]

it was nice of you and your friend to take her out, but I do wonder if your friend needs some medical assistance. would her son think of asking her gp to visit, do you think the odd behaviour and the epilepsy are connected ?

[pixie373]

I would just like to borrow your "she has no command of herself" for the moment, please? But I'll keep an eye out for your others!

[Connemmara]

look out for them - as I said in Tinkerbell23 - she was eating hard eclairs and I asked "had she a bar in her grate" which means have you any teeth left.

[Connemmara]

Anneasquith - she was at hospital last monday re cholesterol - but I know she never tells the truth - tells us she has lost a few pounds (Where????) I am still looking whilst she was heavy she wore very expensive bras which left her heavy breasts as pert as they could be but now they have drooped to the level of her waist. I don't know what planet she is on. I am not going to talk about her - cos I have said my piece. She is away to her brother in Dublin with some cash injections for them as she is very kind - so they put up with the Sugar so I am beginning to relax for the first time in quite a while.