Anyone Fancy Offering A Bit Of Literary Criticism?

[sandyRoe]

This isn't a short story but a piece from a longer work I hope to finish some day. You may not like the characters or what they're doing but please don't let that cloud your judgement.
What do you think of it as a bit of written work?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RPIdmzbDrQtL4qSo4tS2PLRmAqVVf-80thanfaptX-I/edit?usp=sharing

[Mamyalynne]

Well Sandy, I am no expert critic but it caught my imagination and wanted to read more, so well done.

[ummmm]

I've subscribed because it's too much for me to read at the moment (seriously sleep deprived)

Look forward to reading it tomorrow :-)

[paddywak]

Excellent Sandy, now you have captured our interest you will now have to publish an episode every Saturday.

[sandyRoe]

Charles Dickens could knock out a chapter a week. It would take me a fair bit longer.
I mentioned a while back that I was thinking of trying an autobiography. I've decided not to bother with that. I had this written in a rough form and decided to tidy it up as best I could and post here to see what people think.

[ummmm]

I enjoyed the other work you posted.

[paddywak]

Well, Sandy it doesn't really matter how long it takes I think it's worth persevering

[sandyRoe]

Thank you, all. That's encouraging. :-)

[Psybbo]

Sandy, it frightened and gripped me at the same time, no literary criticism here. It's just so real

[The Builder]

Great pace, Sandy. I was leaning into the screen as I read, and it wasn't just my eyesight.
They do say to write about what you know. This is written by someone who clearly knows the subject well.
The only thing I would ask for would be character development. It's always said that the reader should "care" about the characters; even the bad guys. I would look forward to finding what makes them tick, as people. That takes time of course.

[fbg40]

Excellent Sandy - can't wait for more !!
FBG40

[ichkeria]

That's very good Sandy. The subject matter is right up my street of course, but even allowing for that ...

[trt]

Hi Sandy,
I have read some of it and its good but just because the interior light was on in the car, it didn't necessarily mean that door was open, they could have put it on from the inside.
I also didn't know it was in Ireland till later.

Will finish reading it later on but it kept me interested, well done.

[murraymints]

Ooo Sandy what happens next ? Left me wanting more !

[sandyRoe]

trt, I've tweaked the story a bit, re the light.
Murraymints, I've a couple of more pages written and after that I don't know yet.

[DTCwordfan]

Good start Sandy - just one little tip from someone who writes and whose Ed has encouraged me.

Get more of the emotions and thinking into place, the reasoning and turmoils in Mickey.....it will help make him a richer character and, yes, that means dipping into your own thoughts, experiences and emotions.

It works though!

[murraymints]

You need to get it published Sandy....or on Kindle....