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Stupid Things You Have Done....

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EcclesCake | 12:09 Sat 10th May 2014 | ChatterBank
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I've just been listening to the Now SHow on R4, they asked the audience what stupid things they have done. One audience member admitted to finding a box of matches and setting a fire at school.

It reminded me of a time when aged 7 or 8 I was playing with a friend and he handcuffs we were playing with wouldn't unlock. Being a resourceful child I went to my Dads workshop and found a hack saw to try and cut the cuffs off, that didn't work so I moved onto a Stanley knife.......

I cannot remember how we did finally get the hand cuffs of but I do look back and wonder how Fay still has both hands and no scars :-(

So what stupid thing have you done as an adult or child?
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Gosh...where do I start??! Climbing on roofs, jumping into half open locks so you get dragged around by the current, jumping off things, the higher the better. I was a total nightmare and sometimes wonder how my parents loved me :-)
Arresting two 'heavies' in a stolen Capri, on my own, in a radio blackspot..... that was stooooopid!
A friend and I used to nick cigarettes from my Dad`s packet and take them into a little gap in the roof space of a barn to smoke them. A barn that was filled with hundreds and hundreds of bales of hay. How we never burned the place down (and killed ourselves into the bargain) I`ll never know.
One that springs to mind. I was doing something with a knife, can't remember what, when I noticed that the blade was coming out of the handle, I can fix this I thought, so holding tightly onto the blade I banged the end of handle on a log to force it back into place and of course, slice all four fingers at the same time, lesson learnt!
My cousin decided to check his magnet against the light switch he had just uncovered.......poooooooof.......it blew the fuse and we were in darkness for about 24 hours. Oh, it was c1955!
All sorts. Three come to mind. Two of them are sort of the same, I suppose. I was heading home from primary school, as part of my "growing up" process I was now allowed to do some of this myself rather than be escorted home by Dad. he'd set off to meet me, and I'd set off before he'd got to School and we would meet half-way. Anyway, this particular day, I can't think why, but I decided to take a different route home through a small wood. And so my Dad never did meet me, I got back home without him. Goodness only know how much he was worried, but it was enough so that there was an (anonymous) announcement about it in School the next day...

Another time, I went to spend the afternoon with a friend, but at no point told my parents where I'd gone... again I was all safe but I'm fairly sure that they were on the verge of calling the police, if not having done it already... I know Mum was upset and angry when I got home so she must have been super scared...

Something that really qualifies as stupid, again at Primary School. There is the main road between my house and the school and this one time I just crossed it without looking at all. I'm told that a truck missed me by inches, but I didn't notice... closest I've ever come to death.

I don't even think these are the most stupid incidents (stepping off a bus while it was still moving; falling forward deliberately while trying to demonstrate that this was possible without putting hands in front of me to stop my fall -- I didn't use my hands, but on the way down I thought, "Hang on, the first part that is going to hit the ground is my OWWWWW!!!) , but perhaps they're enough of a taster for now.
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I'm not alone then! Like the idea of a swirly lock though.....

Another of my crackers involves a pencil and an old compass with a very long needle bit.

I had a pencil that the lead was loose in and the lead would slip out. I liked this pencil a lot and wanted another. As I was a resourceful child I picked up my (rusty) compass, clenched my fist around a carefully selected pencil and punched at the lead in the hope of dislodging it.

I missed the pencil and stuck the compass straight through my finger :-(
The most stoopidest thing I used to do (regularly) was hang from the pole at the end of the 41 bus as it flew round the corner at Turnpike Lane. God alone knows how I never got flung off and killed, still makes me shiver.

Great fun though. ;)
My friend, B... in the Irish family down the road had bum length hair which was put in rags for ringlets every night...as did my black haired sister.
Because she hated my colour hair my mum kept mine cut short.
Fed up with the rags B called for me one day with a pair of rusty little shears she found in the garden and asked me to cut her hair like mine...we were about six or seven.
I sat her on the step and cut off the ringlets....it wasn't even so I got a pudding bowl, plonked it on her head and cut another layer around it.
Then, so no one would know....we buried the hair in the garden...we really were that stupid.
B went home, passing my mum on the way down the street.

Fortunately...or maybe not...B's mum had the same name as me....
When my mum met her dad some days later she asked who the hell had cut B's hair!
M****** did it....he replied....did you not know?
What possessed her?.......And you with a barber in the family!!! .....ranted my mother before storming off....angry at B's mum.

It was weeks before my mum found out the M****** was me.....☻
On exercise, couldn't be bothered to take a shovel with me when I needed to answer a call of nature, decided to go in a small disused hut at the top of the exercsie area, despite warnings from our Instructors that we weren't to use it on any account.
On walking back down the hill, one of the Corporal's asked me where I'd been. When I confessed and told him, he punched me, which I considered a bit drastic in light of my minor offence. Then he made the situation clear:

I'd walked across and through several pounds of explosives that he had rigged and set ready to simulate an air strike for the following morning's exercise.
I tasted Fairy Liquid because I thought it smelled nice, I cut two pieces out of a best bath towel for my dolls (got sent to bed for that), I put a loose pearl in my ear and had to be taken to the doctor to get it out.
Couldn't think of any for a while, but I reckon the stupidest thing I ever did, was go into the attic and open the sky-light and slide down the roof onto the top of the bay windows roof.
Must have been in the region of 50' above ground level.
The dolls and I had a lovely tea-party.

Neighbour across the road phoned Mum.
I now am terrified of heights and have no idea how on earth I didn't go off the top and land in the front garden.
Would have been about 3 or 4 at that time.
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Chill, that would have been an awful lot of paperwork! You got off lightly with just a punch ;-)

I'll just drill into this wall ... no need for a wire detector - I'm sure no idiot would run an extension here ... Ooops bang ... Ah yes - now I remember running a mainx cable here before the plastering was done - I'm sure my eyebrows will grow back eventually :+((
Blood run cold, Chill?....☺

Prudie...I drank Sloan's Liniment ....lord knows why....
Blew up an old brewery.
Was that recently, Tony?....☺
I used to blow up balloons our kid :-)

Did you blow it up 'cos it had stopped brewing?

(I reckon we're lucky to be alive going by some replies!)
I was indeed very lucky. After the intial punch I really had no idea what I'd done wrong.
Suffice to say I made no complaint of bullying, I was thankful for a dig and a kick up the @rse!
Oh god - I've just remembered stealing a can of sodium metal (fortunately nearly empty) from the Chemistry lab stores at school - we lobbed it into the canal - it shot off like a rocket and dxploded against the wall of an Old Folks Home. Oh the larks we had ...

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