Caged Rabbit
A male rabbit lives in a cage in a laboratory in the Gallagher cigarette factory.
Everyday he's subjected to smoking 10 cigarettes an hour just to see how it affects his dependency on nicotine and his overall well-being.
One hot summer's day a lab technician leaves a window open for some fresh air and a wild rabbit decides to investigate.
He pops his head through the window and sees the caged rabbit smoking away so shouts to him, "Hello, what's your name and how long have you lived here?"
The caged rabbit replies, "My name is Tom and I've lived here ever since I was born"
The wild rabbit says, "Have you never wanted to see what life is like on the outside Tom?"
Tom replies that he looks out of the window every day and wonders what's on the other side so the wild rabbit pops through the window and unfastens the cage.
"Follow me he says, I'll show you things you could only ever dream of.”
"What do you have to eat every day?" says the wild rabbit.
Tom replies, "Just bran and some pellets in a bowl". The wild rabbit takes him to a field full of carrots and says, "Eat some of these, they're crunchy, sweet and full of flavour - eat as many as you want because they're low in calories." Tom spends 30 minutes or so enjoying munching on the carrots before the wild rabbit says, "Have you ever tried lettuce?"
Tom replies, "No, never heard of them" so the wild rabbit leads him to a field full of lettuce and says, "These are fresh, crunchy and mouth-watering - again low calories so you can eat as many as you like."
Tom tucks in and gorges on lettuce for another half an hour before he says to the wild rabbit, "That food was outstanding but I've had enough to eat, is there anything else to show me"
"Have you ever been with a female rabbit?" says the wild one. "Never had the chance being caged up", replies Tom, so the wild rabbit takes him to another field full of female rabbits.
"There you go mate, sh*g as many as you want, they're all up for it." Over the next hour, Tom duly has his way with as many female rabbits as possible before he tires and says to the wild rabbit, "Thanks for the best day of my life pal, I've never had such an amazing day, but I must get back to the laboratory"
The wild rabbit is astounded, "Why the hell would you want to go back to a cage when you've had carrots, lettuce and a multitude of female rabbits?" to which Tom replies, "I'm dying for a fag"