HOW TO COOK A Christmas Soup
STEP 1: Go and buy leeks, chicken, bacon, chestnuts
STEP 2: Take a drink - a Scotch or Irish whiskey
STEP 3: Put the chicken in the oven
STEP 4: Take 2 drams of Scotch/Irish whiskey
STEP 5: Set the temp at 200C for the oven
STEP 6: Time for 2 more drams
STEP 7: Turn the oven on
STEP 8: 2 more drams
STEP 9: Chick the Bastey and chop leeks and conab
STEP 10: Opun nex glass thing of wishkey
STEP 11: Sautte veg an pig bits
STEP 12: Glass you another wihskye
STEP 13: Bake and fry for 'ours
STEP 14: Test bird for numbness and take more hooch
STEP 15: Take oven out of chicken and shred.
STEP 16: floor the chicken and pick up, lop into pot for soup
STEP 17 Add scotch and stock and 2 more fer yerslef
STEP 18: Opum nex bott of scutch and 2 more
STEP 19: Stir and stor more with good belch and more
STEP 20: Bless the sayiottle, hiccup, miss bowls with ladel, pass and eat out.