18 Yr Old

[hannah40]

Do you all cook for your 18yr olds? Mine is so fussy and my husband and I try all sorts of food and she will moan and say it looks disgusting or I’m not eating that.
I try new recipes and cook fresh.
I cook a roast which she likes and salad and fish cakes and tacos or stir fry other than that she refuses to eat meals.
Then shouts at us and tells us we’re starving her.
We’re an awful family and parents that won’t cook for her.
What can I do to resolve this

[granny grump]

Let her cook her own meals

[JimF]

Throw the ungrateful wretch out and let her fend for herself! As a kindly gesture, maybe buy her a tin opener.

[ToraToraTora]

Give her right daisy up the April. Sounds like a wrong un to me.

[Mamyalynne]

My two were independent and had left home by that age.

Occasionally rang me for cooking advice.

[elliemay1]

She sounds immature for an 18 yr old. Is she generally ungrateful or is it just about food?

[calmck]

Buy her a basketful of foods she likes and tell her to get on with it.

[vulcan42]

I would add to granny grump, let her buy and cook her own food. How can you be starving her, you provide food, she doesn't eat it.

[pat2604]

Just tell her to shop for food herself and prepare her own food and don't cook for her any more. At 18 she's an adult not a child.

[pastafreak]

Stop doing it for her. It's time for her to learn to feed herself...whether it's by cooking, eating cold beans out of a tin, or getting a takeaway. Does she work...if she does she can certainly pay for her own food if she doesn't like what's put before her.
You'll just drive yourself crazy trying to please her otherwise.

[pat2604]

Sorry, but she does sound like a rude spoiled child, not like a young adult.

[Khandro]

All the advice above is good , predictable & you know it is. I once had a friend - a grown man in every sense,- who along with his wife were "terrified" of their 18 year old daughter's petulance.

The problem is that your love for her is confusing you into acceptance of her unreasonable behaviour. I have no easy answer, but if I was in this position I would refuse to prepare ANY food for her at all, go out with your husband & eat elsewhere, let her take on the responsibility for her own welfare - the lack of which is probably at the root of her problems anyway.

[-SharonA-]

Thinking back, if my boys didn't like what was cooking, they cooked something for themselves. In fact one of my sons is a fantastic cook!!

[Musictv2019]

I'm 28 years old and my parents cook for me because of my autism and Dyspraxia you can always ask what foods she likes and get her to go grocery shopping with you.

[emmie]

she needs to be told how to cook for herself, at 18 she is old enough to be fairly independent.

[davebro]

//I cook a roast which she likes and salad and fish cakes and tacos or stir fry //

That seems a fair variety of dishes. If you're doing something else for the rest of the family have the stuff she likes available & tell her to cook her own.

[zylaphone]

She sounds like a toddler. Terrible way to behave. Give her a recipe book and tell her to cook her own meals.

[davebro]

PS - and do her own washing up!

[theshedman]

We found that ours got less fussy after they had a place of their own and came visiting us. It's strange how free food and not having to cook it helps them not to worry about things they dont like.

[barry1010]

Stop pandering to her. Make it clear that if she doesn't eat what you put in front of her, you will stop catering for her.

[Ken4155]

I can only assume that, for the last 18 years, you have pandered to her every whim. How old will she be when you finally stop doing this? Show her where the kitchen is and what the functions of the appliances therein are. Demonstrate their use, make her watch. Make her copy. Then, for the sake of your own sanity, leave her to it!