Family & Relationships0 min ago
Odd Things Which Bother You But You Can’t Tell Anyone
14 Answers
Do any of you have odd hang ups which bother you but you can’t tell anyone as they are deemed too pathetic?
Criticise and call me as much as you want but when I was a teenager finding out that I was never breastfed (as my mum didn’t want to) did bother me. This was because even at 14 I was a bit odd in that I would exercise every morning before school, make myself eat an apple every lunchtime and salad balm rather than pie and chips. I was of the belief that I was setting myself up for good health in the future. I felt content striving to be in good health and didn’t understand why those around me smoked/didn’t seem to care about their health. They only seemed to care about their make up and hair.
Anyway when my mum revealed that I was never been breastfed but my cousins were I remember getting a very dissapointed sinking feeling. As I read more and more research which states that breastfed children become healthier adults (optimum neurological/immune system development etc) I became more disappointed as though I had been set back physiologically. Even reminding myself of ways in which I was very lucky didn’t shake the feeling. When I was going through a bad patch in my late teens my mum called me thick and asked why I couldn’t be normal like my cousin. I felt like pointing out that I didn’t receive the best milk like my cousin but obv this would have been wrong so I said nothing.
I thought how could I be on equal terms health wise with those who received human milk with all the antibodies for over a year. I really did ruminate over this for ages. Obviously I could never tell anyone I would become a laughing stock to people so it was just kept in my thoughts
I am supposed to be more mature now so I’m not bothered as much but the OCD part of me does wonder and I avoid reading research on it, guess I’m still not mature.
Do any of you have any odd hang ups that you can’t tell to people you know?
Criticise and call me as much as you want but when I was a teenager finding out that I was never breastfed (as my mum didn’t want to) did bother me. This was because even at 14 I was a bit odd in that I would exercise every morning before school, make myself eat an apple every lunchtime and salad balm rather than pie and chips. I was of the belief that I was setting myself up for good health in the future. I felt content striving to be in good health and didn’t understand why those around me smoked/didn’t seem to care about their health. They only seemed to care about their make up and hair.
Anyway when my mum revealed that I was never been breastfed but my cousins were I remember getting a very dissapointed sinking feeling. As I read more and more research which states that breastfed children become healthier adults (optimum neurological/immune system development etc) I became more disappointed as though I had been set back physiologically. Even reminding myself of ways in which I was very lucky didn’t shake the feeling. When I was going through a bad patch in my late teens my mum called me thick and asked why I couldn’t be normal like my cousin. I felt like pointing out that I didn’t receive the best milk like my cousin but obv this would have been wrong so I said nothing.
I thought how could I be on equal terms health wise with those who received human milk with all the antibodies for over a year. I really did ruminate over this for ages. Obviously I could never tell anyone I would become a laughing stock to people so it was just kept in my thoughts
I am supposed to be more mature now so I’m not bothered as much but the OCD part of me does wonder and I avoid reading research on it, guess I’m still not mature.
Do any of you have any odd hang ups that you can’t tell to people you know?
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You know your hang up is irrational so that is a good thing. Your mother may not have breast fed you but your parents did instil in you a healthy respect for your body, the importance of eating well, exercising and generally looking after your health. That is more than some breastfed children learn at home.
Nothing I, nor anyone else, says will convince you that you have not suffered in any way from being bottle fed, you are not disadvantaged and you have ability to be as fit and healthy as anyone. It is true.
I am very lucky to have a wife that I can discuss anything and everything with. I firmly believe that keeping unwarranted hang ups bottled up allows them to grow out of all proportion and can become obsessional.
Nothing I, nor anyone else, says will convince you that you have not suffered in any way from being bottle fed, you are not disadvantaged and you have ability to be as fit and healthy as anyone. It is true.
I am very lucky to have a wife that I can discuss anything and everything with. I firmly believe that keeping unwarranted hang ups bottled up allows them to grow out of all proportion and can become obsessional.
Barry I agree with 99% of what you have said but I do question this part:
‘your parents did instil in you the importance of eating well, exercising’
I realised that I was fairly ok at exercising at school and I guess it became my ‘thing’ as it was one thing people said I was good at. My social skills were poor I barely spoke until the last year of high school (tho I still enjoyed my time) so I guess I turned to health and exercise. My mum never exercised and a few times said that it was weird me getting up early to exercise. She criticised the fact that I dressed like a lad, never wore makeup nor went on nights out. She said that she cringed when she went out with me. She often brought up how bad I looked during arguments (even if it was out of concern). I remember going for a drink with family and my dad staring at me and saying ‘I can’t work out if it’s her hair or her face that’s the mess’. In their defence I look back on old pics and I did look like a lad with hoodies and scruffy hair. In my head I was all about exercise and having a healthy lifestyle tho. They probably were just very concerned I wasn’t girly and typical, but the exercise thing definitely came from me lol
Anyway, enough about me I can go on and on if you let me , let’s hear some stuff from others
‘your parents did instil in you the importance of eating well, exercising’
I realised that I was fairly ok at exercising at school and I guess it became my ‘thing’ as it was one thing people said I was good at. My social skills were poor I barely spoke until the last year of high school (tho I still enjoyed my time) so I guess I turned to health and exercise. My mum never exercised and a few times said that it was weird me getting up early to exercise. She criticised the fact that I dressed like a lad, never wore makeup nor went on nights out. She said that she cringed when she went out with me. She often brought up how bad I looked during arguments (even if it was out of concern). I remember going for a drink with family and my dad staring at me and saying ‘I can’t work out if it’s her hair or her face that’s the mess’. In their defence I look back on old pics and I did look like a lad with hoodies and scruffy hair. In my head I was all about exercise and having a healthy lifestyle tho. They probably were just very concerned I wasn’t girly and typical, but the exercise thing definitely came from me lol
Anyway, enough about me I can go on and on if you let me , let’s hear some stuff from others
Hopkirk health is not about career choice though disabled and people with health conditions go on to be scientists etc.
If a baby was breastfed for say 6 months or over a year they are receiving continuous hormones, antibodies, oxytocin for neurological/brain development etc. There are hundreds of substances in human milk not present in formula. Can a person who was never breasted/never received the above really develop as optimally if they had have done?
If a baby was breastfed for say 6 months or over a year they are receiving continuous hormones, antibodies, oxytocin for neurological/brain development etc. There are hundreds of substances in human milk not present in formula. Can a person who was never breasted/never received the above really develop as optimally if they had have done?
Get help. No rush but at some point in your future.... you may need to see a professional trained to deal with what has now become an irrational obsession.... In truth it's only the colostrum that is seen as ultra desirable because that's where the antibodies etc are to give protection during the early weeks of life. You forget bad things can be transferred in breast milk especially some drugs. So for some individuals modified commercial baby milk is a better option, especially where mothers don't produce enough of their own, or there is a failure to bond. A mothers love and nurturing,so a child grows up feeling valued and supported is far far more important to development and ongoing mental health.
I think from what you posted you are more caught up in the effects of their criticism but have focussed on what over the course of a lifetime is probably irrelevant.
I think from what you posted you are more caught up in the effects of their criticism but have focussed on what over the course of a lifetime is probably irrelevant.
Rowanwitch - I have had help in the past and have mentioned my focus on health but they never seemed concerned/told me not to label myself and I have been discharged.
I do realise how others will see my views as bizarre though (even though it is only evidence fuelling them). Even the NHS acknowledge that the benefits last right into adulthood https:/
Yes apparently drugs and nicotine etc do pass through breastmilk but as the benefits of breastmilk outweigh the harms of babies receiving nicotine they still recommend that smoking mothers breastfeed.
It is not the criticism that bothers me as much as the health, I think all parents criticise to some extent.
Despite all this the issue is why does being in the best health secretly bother me so much. It’s not cool to be obsessed with health but the good thing is I don’t mention this to anyone
I do realise how others will see my views as bizarre though (even though it is only evidence fuelling them). Even the NHS acknowledge that the benefits last right into adulthood https:/
Yes apparently drugs and nicotine etc do pass through breastmilk but as the benefits of breastmilk outweigh the harms of babies receiving nicotine they still recommend that smoking mothers breastfeed.
It is not the criticism that bothers me as much as the health, I think all parents criticise to some extent.
Despite all this the issue is why does being in the best health secretly bother me so much. It’s not cool to be obsessed with health but the good thing is I don’t mention this to anyone
Re your hang up about breast feeding. What about the thousands of babies that are adopted and not breast fed. My adopted daughter is as healthy as all her cousins. Also some women are unable to breast fed. It is far better to have a contented bottle fed baby than a failing to thrive breast fed one with a mother in despair because she has been told breast is best. ***
bluefortress, I have loads, too many to mention and I wouldn't put them on here because I would feel embarrassed, I call them my
idiosyncrasies.
Can I just say, and I hope you believe me, I honestly don't believe there is a difference between those who were breastfed and those who weren't.
I have 3 daughters. Eldest didn't breastfeed, the other 2 breastfed
their children until they were 2-3 yrs old!
The son of my eldest daughter is well over 6 feet tall, is in very good health and plays goalie in a football team.
The daughters of my other 2 daughters have all had problems with their health, so IMO, breast isn't always best.
The problem you have is because of the way your parents have treated you and the things they have said.
Unfortunately, there's little you can do about that, but may I suggest you go to see your GP and asked to be referred to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist as I think this could be of help to you.
I've been told several times that although I do have these idiosyncrasies, as long as they're not hurting anyone, there's nothing to worry about.
idiosyncrasies.
Can I just say, and I hope you believe me, I honestly don't believe there is a difference between those who were breastfed and those who weren't.
I have 3 daughters. Eldest didn't breastfeed, the other 2 breastfed
their children until they were 2-3 yrs old!
The son of my eldest daughter is well over 6 feet tall, is in very good health and plays goalie in a football team.
The daughters of my other 2 daughters have all had problems with their health, so IMO, breast isn't always best.
The problem you have is because of the way your parents have treated you and the things they have said.
Unfortunately, there's little you can do about that, but may I suggest you go to see your GP and asked to be referred to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist as I think this could be of help to you.
I've been told several times that although I do have these idiosyncrasies, as long as they're not hurting anyone, there's nothing to worry about.
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