did I do the right thing?

[buzzie03]

I did something a couple of months ago that at the time I thought I did the right thing but now I'm regretting it. Well basically what happened is I told the man that I was in love with (who I thought was in love with me) that I wouldnt have an affair; or get involved sexually with him as long as he was married. I also told him I would still like to be his friend. I knew he was really unhappy with his wife and that their marriage was dead. He also knows I'm a virgin so I thought he would have respected my desicion. I thought he did want to eventually be with me because he kept asking me if I wanted kids and he and his wife couldnt have any. Well after I told him I would not sleep with him he told me he wanted nothing to do with me; not even still remain friends and just dropped me. Now I"m thinking that all along he never cared about me and was just telling me things I wanted to hear to make me believe he loved me and would one day leave her so I would sleep with him. I guess i'm just needed some support; or reassurance that I did do the right thing because I've been feeling really down.

[Amiira]

Hi buzzie. Yes you did the right thing. Have no regrets whatsover. And dont feel down. You have self respect.

He sounds like a complete to**er.

[Amiira]

How old are you? and how old is the to**er?

[raysparx1]

Hi buzzie,

You have done the right thing,he just wanted sex and if it was with a virgin,even better,the moment you said no,he was off,no doubt looking for someone else,stay away from him,some men prey on women and girls just for self satisfaction,they and him as amiira says are tos*ers,you are well out of it,don't go back, Ray xx

[Pea Pod]

If you`d said yes he would have probably disappeared afterwards,so you did the right thing.Never get involved with a married man they carry too much baggage.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, its all your own fault for getting involved with a guy who already has a partner. Obviously he is going to say stuff to you, so he can have sex with you. But if he was going to leave his partner, he would have done before now. It makes it worse that you saw an oppurtunity to get him from his wife, knowing full well that they were having problems. Sorry, but your not gonna get any sympathy off me. You knew what you was doing, and you knew he was depressed too, yet you chose to use that for your advantage. Its good that you got bagged off, may teach you a lesson...

[chicklin]

YES you did the right thing! Brilliant judgement on your part, buzzie.
You've come out of this with your self esteem intact and you should be proud of yourself. He was obviously only interested in the 'conquest' and not in you as a person. Someone who really loves you for yourself would be happy to wait as long as it took for you to be happy to sleep with them. They wouldn't rush you. Well done, you're much better without this predator.

[bambiboo78]

buzzie babe u did the right thing and take heart from knowing he will be going mad with sexual frustration that u said no! good on u, this man led u on he has a wife fair dos its not always black and white and u can fall in love with someone if ure already married, but sounds like from what u said he wanted u sexually and wasnt interested in a platonic relationship, and when u wouldnt play his game he didnt like it. uve done nothing wrong just fallen for the wrong guy, he probably did like u as a friend but wasnt in the position to pursue the friendship cos he already has a wife. sounds like he would have continued leading u on if ud have slept with him cos he wanted it all his own way, if he has any feelings for u he'll understand and respect ure decison not to let him cheat on his wife.try not to fret over it .

[chitchat]

Well done you for sticking to your principles. You will look back on this and feel proud of yourself. You have definately done the right thing. Chin up - the doubts and pain will fade in time. I wish I had your strength to do the right things - I would have saved myself and others pain and upset over the years. Good luck x

[PinkFizz]

Yes you totally did the right thing!! Well done you!!

[Phatom06]

Like every one has said all ready you made the right choice, I am male but have grown up I was like him it�s a man thing to get a virgin, like a cowboy putting notches on there gun. You sound quiet young but with some sense, you will find that special person and love him, they are out there but what I have seen of today�s standards not that many. You will always remember your first time so make sure it�s not with some married man that can tell you any bull shi* that he wants. Good luck and I hope you will have a happy life.