am i too soft?

[redcrx]

Found out last week that there is a homeless lad living in the garden of empty house next door. The tenant is being evicted but hasnt slept there for a few weeks as she got raided and they found she had wired out her electicity meter

Mr CRX spoke to him the other eve and last night and now i cant help thinking about it.

The lad is a user, which i would normally be up in arms about, but is on the methadone program and trying to get clean he says. He cant get housing or any help as that is the way our government treats all single homeless men.

Mr CRX has given him water as the guy has no access to anything. he has half a tent but is now sleeping on and old sofa with an old fence panel over him for shelter.

Hes not asked us for anything, he chatted to Mr CRX and was in tears throughout. He was very grateful for a ciggie and someone to talk to.

Now i cant stop thinking about him being out there when we are warm and cosy in our home just feet from him.

I know that we would be making a rod for our own backs if we try and help in any way, like giving him an old sleeping bag or some old jumpers or warm food, plus i would still not have him near the house or children just in case, but am i being too soft?

[Lakitu]

No, I would be handing out warm covers and jumpers too as well as make up some sarnies for him.

[redcrx]

yes but would you not worry about possible repercussions lakitu?

[mccfluff]

nope nothing wrong with helping, just be careful not to leave anything nickable around

[redcrx]

well thats the worry mccfluff, because the neighbour in the house had some rather dodgy characters hanging about and was dealing from the house. There have been a few breakins on the estate (not that we know are connected to her) and i worry about being targetted here.

[Lakitu]

No, not at all.

Red, your instinct that this guy isn't bad, he's just made some bad choices in his life and he's reaping what he sow's now, unfortunately.

I've bought food for the homeless guy that sits outside my local Asda on many an occassion, I can't not help someone who needs it.

[4getmenot]

No you're being nice. He needs alot of help, especially if using, can he contact anyone for help like a refuge? From people I;ve known methadone has never helped and they have taken both. Be there for him and help him a little bit, warm clothing and duvet etc but dont start feeding him, users are the only ones that can help themselves, if they get too much help they think they dont need to change. Rule number 1 dont let him in house. You dont know him and users are likely to steal. See if you can get him a refuge number or if the YMCA can help. Has he mentioned any family to Mr Redcrx? How old is he?

[Dr-Legend]

Youre not being tooo soft.
People are living like this alll around but we go through life not noticing.
When its so close then its noticed and its a normal reaction the way youre feeling.His main problem is his drug misuse which only he can help himaself with .But if you feel better giving him some bits n pieces then why not.

I stayed in new york for a week and the amount of rough sleepers there shocked me.
These folk arent drug users / winos etc well� not the majority of them its just a housing problem.
And anyone can end up down on their luck.

My advice for what its worth is give the young guy what you feel might help him .Smokes or food , i wouldnt give him cash as it would be in the back of my mind it might go on drugs.
And if you have an old sleepin bag or clothes that he can use why not ?

As long as you feel comfortable whos to say youre wrong ?




In another time and another place that could be you or anyone you know.

[redcrx]

lol lakitu, youre softer than i am then :)

I would normally be one to push it to back of my mind but i have been in tears for this guy, even Mr CRX has been upset by his story.

[ChuckFickens]

yes I would give him some warm food, a cuppa every now and then or an old sleeping bag.

Do you need your lawn mowed, car washed or something like that though (obviously nothing that involves coming into the house) see if you can get him to do a few small bits like that in return.

[weeal]

I admire you for wanting to help, I would be too afraid in case he told others and ended up with a bunch of them wanting stuff.
Its hard for me to imagine living like he does, I would feel bad but feel unable to help.

Youre a good person.

[~spaced~]

I think what your doing is comendable, but just be wary, thats all I can say. Alot of people suck people in with sympathy and then let them down.

But I do feel for these people, this is why, unfirtunately, we should be lookng after our own homless and less fortunate people and thats why I dont give money to foreign charites. Charity starts at home as they say

[4getmenot]

http://www.ymca.org.uk/bfora/systems/xmlviewer /default.asp?arg=DS_YMCA_WEBART_110/_page.xsl/ 152

[funnygirl]

Is there not an homeless shelter nearby he can go to??

I am for and against. I am all for helping out someone as long as they were trying too.

Like Weeal says, and knowing my luck, a whole bunch of them would descend!!

Giving him old clothes and the ocassion hot drink is something I would do.

[redcrx]

he has family in the town apparently but hasnt said much about them. Hes only young i think, ive not spoken to him myself, Mr CRX has. hes small and thin and filthy so hard to age him.

I will see if i can find any details about refuges in the area and perhaps try and get them to him. We had to wake him up last night to warn him that the council are going to be clearing the garden hes in, anything he has stored there will be destroyed.

We would not give him money as we are aware that he may still be using.

[4getmenot]

I took in a friend 3 times that was on drugs in the end she let me down so many times I had to turn her away. She is now clean but that was the only way she could be helped when she had nothing and could realise what she had done

[4getmenot]

You're right never give him money. Theres a boy in town and if he asks for a pound for food, I make sure I go to the chippy with him and buy them. Ask him if you could maybe contact his family for him

[RevFunk]

Yes

He should get a grip

Boo hoo Im an addict give me somewhere to live.

Im not an addict and the council wouldnt house me.

[redcrx]

yeah i dont want to be seen as a soft touch and have all sorts of people hanging around the house. The neighbours house is an eyesore in what is a lovely estate.

Im really torn between wanting to help him and being scared of what we could atract for ourselves.

Mr CRX is worried too, i know he wants to help but is scared that it may come back and bite us on the bum so to speak

[RevFunk]

Plus I would look your garden shed otherwise he will sell your �100 lawnmover for 5.00

[MrBounty]

Mr Sensitivity raises his head, i see!!

I think morals come into this - something you clearly dont have, Rev!