tots food

[tanya scott]

Does anyone have any ideas on how get some food down our 17 month old girl. Every mealtime is a big drama and shew ends up hardly eating anything . We 've tried cutting right down on her drinks to make sure she is hungry but it hasn't helped much!! We are at our wits end , if anyone has any ideas ,pleeeese help. many thanks

[Solarjunkie]

It's worrying, isn't it?

But you need to break the pattern - you are winding each other up! Presuming she is healthy, make sure she is getting plenty of water, then enlist the help of someone else, a trusted friend. This is so there is no "history" between your daughter & the new person.

Daughter & helper sit down to a meal - daughter has food in front of her, in a small and pleasant portion. Friend eats her own dinner, with enjoyment, not commenting on daughters eating or lack of. When friend has finished, all plates are cleared away.

Sound simple, doesn't it? But it can work wonders, removing the triggers of parents' anxiety and daughters being the centre of attention. A healthy child will eat when hungry, and you have to remember this!

My own son on some days ate six cornflakes and half a Ryvita! Not a lot for a growing kid. But it evened out over time.

The golden rules are keep calm, don't worry, offer small tasty portions of food at mealtimes only, don't engage in any cajoling, bribery or anything else, just present the food and clear it away at the end of a meal.

Realistically, do as many of the above as you can!

[Gef]

My kids are all in their 20s and have been through that. No easy answer but don't cut down on drinks. Give her as much (sugar free) drinks as she wants. When she is hungry she will eat but avoiding dehydration is much more important.

[Jeanie]

Had the same problem with my daughter (she's now 20 and very healthy - so she's come to no harm!) I went to the doctor about it because I was so worried, and he pretty much gave me the advice that Solarjunkie and Gef have given you.  Advised me to not turn mealtimes into battlegrounds and to stop trying to make her eat - just accept that no child has willingly starved themselves to death! 

She will eat when she's hungry.  I managed to relax with my daughter and not make a fuss, and she soon stopped refusing food and started to enjoy it.  As an adult, she eats slowly and is still fairly fussy - but as mentioned she is very healthy and also beautiful and slim! 

[ursula62]

Just one thing to add to the excellent advice you've already been given.

Make sure you don't offer anything between meals apart from sugar free drinks.

If she gets used to having a biscuit at 11 with her drink then she doesn't really have any reason to eat her breakfast or lunch!

[kick3m0n]

Hi tanya.....great advice so far and although it is tough, you must prevent food becoming a battleground.  Easy said, I know.   Couple of friends who have had the same problem read Dr Christopher Greens book on child behaviour, and said it helped them a lot -there's a relevant chapter in his book.  Good luck. x

[Otrere]

I agree. Dr. Christopher Green's book Toddler Taming is absolutely superb. Also have you tried www.babycentre.co.uk - there are lots of Community boards on there where you can chat with mums who have similar problems and even mums who have babies the same age as yours.

Don't let mealtimes become a battle ground though. If she won't eat it, take it away and try again later.

Hope this helps.

Natasha