Ivf for the terminally ill, is this a good idea?

[MickyMacgraw]

Im watching ch 5's The Wright Stuff and on it there is a story about a woman that is dying of cancer, she has 12 months to live and has had her eggs frozen before cancer treatment and has had her friend agree to become a surrogate mother with the husband of the friend being the sperm donor. The Couple are going to bring the child up as their own and the woman with cancer's mother will be allowed access to see the child. Me personally I have no problem with this whatsoever. What about you, do you have any moral issues with this? Would you do it if you were childless and in the same circumstances?

[Sqad]

Well..........if she is going to die in 12 months, why does she want to know that she has got a child?

This is putting a lot of pressure and responsibility on the friend and her husband.....difficult to say no when your friend is dying of cancer.

Emotional blackmail..........I am not happy with that "set up"

[rowanwitch]

Having a biological mother who was dead before you were even concieved might be difficult for the child to deal with .... not sure I'd be comfortable but if they have discussed it properly and thought through strategies to deal with the issues that arise it may prove a comfort all round...

[MickyMacgraw]

Whoah Sqad emotional blackmail? Unless you're talking from facts how do you know it was not the couple that contacted her with the idea?

[Sqad]

I don´t Micky.

[anotheoldgit]

This is hardly news, couldn't you have put it in another category, say Body & Soul or Chatterbox, or even TV in this case?

[Sqad]

rowan....one thing that must remain a secret until well into adulthood, is that you were conceived after your mother had died.

That may not be a big a deal as you might think.

[saxy_jag]

Not sure. If the cancer patient's partner was to be the sperm donor, then I don't think I'd have a problem. But if the friend and her husband want to be parents, why not just have babies? Of course, if the couple can't have their own babies and the dying woman wants to leave this as a gift to her friend, that's a different matter.

Where I do have real problems is the provision of IVF by an already over-burdened NHS. Babies are great if people want them, and yes, everyone who can have them has a right to be allowed to have them. But I don't think we should extend this to 'everyone has a right to be able to conceive', especially when, as I heard on BBC Breakfast this morning, there are so many children out there desparate for loving families.

[MickyMacgraw]

I beg your pardon anotheroldgit? Of course this is news, maybe this may have been better suited to body and soul but this is still valid here imo. What exactly is the criteria for something to be placed in the news section?

[naomi24]

Quite right Micky, of course it's news. If you're not interested in talking about it, AOG, then don't contribute to the thread. Simples.

I really can't rationalise this. As I understand it this lady wants a baby before she dies. A baby conceived after she's dead isn't the issue - so where is the baby's role in all of this? It seems it's all about what the biological mother wants - and that sits uncomfortably with me.

[ummmm]

<It seems it's all about what the biological mother wants - and that sits uncomfortably with me.>

I agree...but some loving people might be pampering her in her final year.

[naomi24]

Yes, I understand that ummmm - but deciding to bring a baby into the world isn't like choosing what you want for Christmas. I listened to the discussion Micky's talking about and I still can't get my head around this. It seems morally wrong and somehow incredibly selfish to want a baby knowing that you are not going to be around to take responsibility for its future.

[McMouse]

This isn't ivf for the terminally ill. It's about viable eggs being provided by someone who happens to be terminally ill. In my experience a childless couple who go for the ivf approach will probably be very comfortable knowing the provenance of the donor eggs.

[ludwig]

Can the surrogate mother conceive normally? - do they have any other children? If not it may be a case of her donating them an egg before she dies - ie more a gift to them than a selfish act on her part.
I didn't get the whole story - can someone clarify that?

[naomi24]

That isn't the way I understood it Ludwig. The couple are doing this to give the woman her wish.

[ummmm]

Is there a link to it? Is this woman not married then?

[MickyMacgraw]

Before I posted this I googled to try and find more history behind this story but alas i cannot find anything related to this story at the moment.

[JOLENE12]

Selfish. Selfish.

[ludwig]

If that's the case Naomi, I'm honestly not sure what I think about it.

[missnemesis]

Well IMO it is a disgustingly selfish wish. Providing it takes first time the pregnancy will take up nine months of this woman's twelve months leaving only three with which to spend with the child. Pandering to this wish may make the 'mother's' final 12 months happier but when she's gone it's everyone else who will have to live with the consequences, particularly the child. Shameful!

[naomi24]

I know what you mean Ludwig. That's how I felt when I was listening to the discussion.

Micky, I can't find anything on it either.