''Something does not ring true here, I have worked as a chef and you would not get dismissed for taking a few bits of crockery home, and if you did there is no way they would give you a reference, as they have sacked you for theft. ''
what one company does under their discretion does not mean every company will do.
that is a bit narrow minded there.
If you do not wish to resolve any differences with him, then keep the texts and missed phone calls, log them, and if you have to, file a harrassment complaint.
look for another job asap and use that reference they are willing to give. you have obviously spoken to them and this is the final decision you and your employer came to, so use their offer to the best you can.
also seek legal advice, at least if not, for the possible theft of the things he took which he shouldnt have...