Some Reasons why women prefer cucumbers to Men
The average cucumber is at least eight inches long
Cucumbers stay hard for a week
Cucumbers won't tell you size doesn't count
Cucumbers don't get too excited
Cucumbers never suffer from performance anxiety
Cucumbers are easy to pick up
You can fondle a cucumber in a supermarket and you know how firm it is before you take it home
Cucumbers can get away any weekend
With a cucumber you can get a single room and you won't have to check-in as Mrs Cucumber
A cucumber will always respect you in the morning
With a cucumber you can always wait until you get home
A cucumber won't ask: "Am I the first?"
Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin anymore
With a cucumber you don't have to be a virgin more than once
Cucumbers can handle rejection
Cucumbers won't pout if you have a headache
Cucumbers won't care what time of the month it is
Cucumbers never want to get it on when your nails are wet
Cucumbers won't give it up for Lent
With a cucumber you never have to say you're sorry
Take you to confession You always know where a cucumber has been
A cucumber never has to call "the wife"
Cucumbers never want to take you home to Mum
Cucumbers don't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy"
A cucumber will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement, or seek custody of anything
Cucumbers don't leave you wondering for a month
Cucumbers won't make you go to the chemists
Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them
A cucumber a day keeps the OB-GYN away
A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat
With a cucumber you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during the Flu season
A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library
A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hairspray
Cucumbers won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub
Cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall
Cucumbers don't have sex hangups
Cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots on
Cucumbers aren't into rope & leather, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits & nuts
A cucumber will never leave you for another woman for another man for another cucumber
A cucumber will never call and say "I have to work late, Honey", and then come home smelling like another woman