Advice for divorce,child support when wife earns twice than me?

[aliwaqas]

Hi
can someone help me please.
I got married in July,08,to a GP.She told me she earns 100,000� plus her private work.She already had 3 properties in her name,bought before our marriage.I was living in Scotland in a hospital as a junior doctor at the time of marriage,earning about �40,000,she works in London.In Feb,09, I was able to get my transfer to London,as she point blank refused to move or visit me.
At the time of marriage she was pregnant and after 5 months we had out lovely baby.
After 2 months of living together in her london home,she kicked me out,saying she has proof of my infidelity,which she never showed me.Also,I received a police caution for holding her wrist,long story,but I was investigated by GMC and once they found out the true story I was cleared of any wrong doing,but still have a police record and caution.
Now after 4 months of failed efforts and I have received an email from her solicitor saying she wants divorce on grounds of infidelity and aggressive behaviour.
I want to know what my rights are,for contact with my child as she is only allowing 1 hour,every 2 weeks,only if is feeling better.She is 6 months pregnant again.
Also how much child support i should pay?
Also am I entitled for any compensation?as I paid for plane tickets for weekly travel form scotland,her entertainment,grocery shopping when i was in london and when she was in scotland.Do I have right to any money from the home(is it our matrimonial home),as I lived there,and spent money for upkeep?

[sara3]

you have a reasonable salary and a lot of questions. why not see a solicitor who specialises in such matters?

[No,Knowledge]

bizzare

[redcrx]

married July 08
baby arrives November 08
pregnant again in Feb 09.

Just where did you find the time to have an affair?

if they are your children then it doesnt matter really what shes earning, you have a duty to provide too.

see a solicitor about the contact and financial issues.

[STIDW]

Parents have no contact rights, it is children who have rights to contact with parents. There is no standard arrangement suiting all families but as a rule of thumb contact with young babies can be little and often gradually extending into longer periods to include overnights then 50% of the quality time at weekends and holidays with perhaps a night or two during the week. I'm not sure where you are living now, but clearly if it is some distance little and often isn't going to work in which case it is only likely to be an hour or so occasionally until the child is older.

Good contact for children relies on parents being able to rub along together and going to court tends to make that impossible. Forced arrangements often result in contact breaking down or years of ongoing litigation so it is worthwhile keeping the emotions and practicalities separate using a counsellor if necessary. Usually it is difficult to negotiate arrangements directly initially but mediation or solicitor negotiation can help and arrangements do tend to settle after about 18 months or so. However, if our wife remains hostile to contact you will need to seek a court order.

The CM Options website has a calculator and explains the different options for child support.

[STIDW]

Sorry, couldn't answer in one post!

In England & Wales the authority on finances after a short marriages is a case Foster v Foster when it was said each party takes away the assets brought to the marriage and share an increase in the value of assets during the marriage. However, the duration of the marriage is just one factor and there are usually 4 or 5 others from a checklist of factors in s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 that come into play, the priority being the welfare of children under 18.

If there is a big discrepancy in incomes and you gave up your job and relocated for the benefit of the relationship it perhaps wouldn't be unreasonable for your wife to be expected to pay *something* towards the costs of you rehousing and readjusting to independent living again.

There are no definates, just probabilities in family law and each case depends on the particular facts so seeing a family solicitor to find out where you stand and what options there are early on is a good idea. A good place to start looking for a solicitor is the family lawyers organisation, Resolution, which is committed to the non confrontational resolution of cases to preserve long term family relations. It should also keep legal costs down.

[aliwaqas]

Dear STI DW
Many thanks for your answer. I find it extremely useful.
My wife who is pregnant now,always had a variable mood and I never knew what made her tick. I am trying my level best to keep matters cordial as seeing my son is the best thing in the world.
I have no experience of dealing with solicitors. I looked at the Resolution website and came across few.
Is there any way of finding out who is the best person to represent me? I don't know anyone in the area to ask for advice.

[tamborine]

She has rights to her children but the Courts could give you more access. Your wife sounds quite unstable & may have PNDepression - the Courts may find same?

1st half hour for legal advice is free with some solicitors or try CAB.

However, I think persuasion is best......keep asking OH for access to children & stay within her schedule - she will relent to more time as the children age. If you can afford to keep yourself - do so. Dont antagonise her for finance as that will just exascerbate the situation. Stay cool, good luck

[aliwaqas]

Many thanks for your reply Tamborine.I am separated for nearly 4 months now and I am still trying my level best to please her but sometimes the things she say and do just rip me apart.Also I am concerned about my son,I want to see him grow up,be there for him.An unstable woman can be dangerous.My son is my life and is a little angel.
Once again thank you.

[STIDW]

Thinking an ex spouse is unstable is par for the course I'm afraid. Mum might need reassurance that you will not try to take the child away and she will loose the child. You may find matters improve when you have a solicitor and can deal with matters at arms length.

When solicitors offer a free first appointment you can meet with several and it is a good idea to check they are actually committed to the aims of Resolution. Sadly there are some dinosaurs out there who adopt a win/lose approach to advocacy where the aim is to secure the best possible deal for their client at the expense of the other spouse. Needless to say this cause much friction and can run up legal bills into tens of thousands. A solicitor who adopts a win/win approach will aim to negotiate a way forward that can work
for everyone.

[hc4361]

Solicitors don't communicate with 'the other side' by email, especially concerning such important matters.
She's either winding you up, or you're winding us up.

[pinktwink]

What about mediation fir both of you to allow yee come up with plan for both your dealings with your child in the future

[aliwaqas]

Once again thank youfor your advice STIDW,her solicitor just sent a letter as an attachment with the email.They have not served the notice yet.Am I right that the notice have to be served in person?

[STIDW]

Under the solicitor's Family Law Pre Application Protocol it is usual to receive at least a weeks notice before filing the application and to give you a list of the 'facts' cited why it is intolerable to be expected to continue living together. It gives you the opportunity to object and make your own suggestions although it won't stop the application being filed.

The court will send you the petition and you (or your solicitor on your behalf) has eight days to return the acknowledgment of service. Only if you fail to return the acknowledgment will the papers be served by the court bailiff.