A view from the other side of the bar...

[janzman]

...Dear Customer...
1.When ordering your drinks please remember to order them one at a time as we like to run back and forth to keep fit.
2.Once you have received two drinks please take them back to your table and stay for a chat before coming back and ordering the rest.We will still be waiting as we have nothing better to do and we appreciate the rest.
3.When you have a big order Please order your Guiness last as we agin will appriciate the rest as we wait for it to settle.
4.If you are kept waiting for TWO minutes,always tell us you have been waiting for 'half an hour' as we have no concept of time and it makes us think the time is going faster.
5.Always wait until you have finished your order and received your change before ordering your crisps or snacks.When requiring a packet of plain crisps or pringles always ask for the full range of flavours available before asking for the plain option,it helps us to remember whats available.
6.If you are offered free snacks on the bar make sure you ask if they are past their sell by date.
7.If upon arrival at the bar there is someone ahead of you shout over them as we like to be abused by people who think its our fault if they are served out of turn.
And finally
8.Never ever say please or thankyou as this only irritates us.

Your friendly Barstaff

[woofgang]

Lol, been there done that and used the tee shirt to mop up spilled beer!

[mrs_overall]

Dear Barstaff

1. Please acknowledge that I have been waiting patiently for 3 hours

2. Explain why your mates get served before me even though I arrived at the bar 3 hours before them

3. Explain why 19 year old pneumatic blonde women always get served before me even though I arrived at the bar 3 hours before them


4. When I order a bottle, don't ask me if I want a glass. Of course I want a glass - the bottles could have been stood outside in a crate and had a dog pee on them!

[sara3]

and.. I may be short, but it's not okay to serve taller people over my head!

[DTCwordfan]

Is that Barstaff or Barsteward?

[mccfluff]

9. please put your money in the puddle of beer on the bar

[sara3]

(when I've been waiting for 3 hours, obviously)

[ummmm]

And barstaff...when I order two drinks please try and remember what they are.

Also...learn how to add up. You could have served another custom in the time it took you to walk to the till and come back with the price.

[muchlovex]

Dear Barman,

1. I always love my pint flowing over the top of my glass and spilling all over the bar.

2. I love red wine served at the highest of temperatures.

hee-hee

P.s. I always say please and thank you to bar staff. Wonder what place/location you work at.

[Prudie]

and barstaff - learn that tonic and lemonade may look the same but they're not.

[NazNomad]

"Also...learn how to add up."

Not necessary. If you charge 'x' for a round of drinks, charge the same all night, no matter if it's right or wrong. That tip saves me from a few rows (pre computer till days).

[NazNomad]

saved*


(also, learn how to spell) lol ;-)

[ummmm]

But not if it's passing trade. They can't even add up two drinks. Actually, most of them don't even know the prices.

[sara3]

and.. AND.... if I ask for Coke, I want Coke.. not cheap Cola or badly mixed concentrates

[mrs_overall]

...and if the round comes to £7.50 and I give you a tenner and a 50p coin, don't stand there looking gormless and then ask what the 50p is for

[sara3]

and.... !

I'd prefer to be charged less for a soft drink than an alcoholic drink.

[boxtops]

and please, when I ask for a lime and soda without too much lime, don't give me that luminously potent drink you gave me yesterday...

[muchlovex]

for point 6. Wouldn't it make sense for you barstaff to put a sign-up advising customers of what flavour crisps/nuts you have - that would save us poor customers asking.

Your friendly and valued customer

[ljdksa]

LOL!

[ummmm]

How hard is it to tell a customer what flavour crisps you have. You can even do that while you're pouring a pint.