Can You Die From Embarrassment?

[Sparkles62]

I think my friend very nearly did just now.
He popped around to see me and was telling me how he had been really busy all week decorating for his aunt.
He told me all about the house, how beautiful it was, and how I would love her kitchen because it is huge,
then he said 'and she has got a beautiful clitoris'

thats a conversation stopper if there ever was one.
What do you say to that?..........I just sat and looked at him,

So he carried on to tell me that it was pink and I would really love it if I saw it!!!!
I couldn't keep quiet any longer and had to ask him what he was talking about,
So he reapeated, she has got the most amazing clitoris,
Its bright pink and it goes up over her front door and all across the front of the house.
By now I've got tears running down my cheeks and nearly wetting myself from trying not to laugh.
I think you mean clematis I told him, at which point he went the colour of a post box.....even his ears poor love.
Its a good job you can't die from embarrassment beacause I think he nearly did.
Me, I just needed new pants. Lol

[baza]

did you ask if her bush was trimmed?

[DTCwordfan]

what's pink and has an inch bud.....

a very young clematis ......

Very funny, sparkles...........love it.

[boxtops]

LOL, that's worse than me telling my cookery teacher that you get orgasms in flour.... :-)

[craft1948]

My boss and I met 2 American colleagues when they came over and we took them for a rather boozy meal. After we'd got chatting the boss mentioned she had a sister in the states, and said her name was Clitoris.......the Americans believed her!

[DTCwordfan]

It's a name oft used in Idaho, craftie.....

[DTCwordfan]

Or a close friend of mine who said that the divorce of Princess Caroline was granted by the Vatican "because the marriage had not been consumed."

[EDDIE51]

Someone once told me she had orgasms in her hair.She meant nits .

[craft1948]

lol DT I think she only said it because one of them said their sister was called Fanny.........

[sandyRoe]

A classic Freudian slip, if ever there was one.

[DTCwordfan]

Double meaning on that one craftie, an American fanny is not the same as ours - the other side.....

[Sparkles62]

Boxtops, I work as special needs assistant, helping with biology revision with a 15 year old just before we broke for Whit, he was busy telling me that he had studied orgasms all weekend for his exam,
I got him to read the questions to me so that i could jump in and say organisms, when he got it wrong, he thought it was really funny when he realised what he had said, couldn't stop giggling. Lol

[josaphine32]

I wen't to b & q and asked a really dishy guy that I wanted durex paint, and could he tell me what was hot as in colours that sold well, after realising what I had said due to his redness I made a swift exit......went yo homebase.

[Mammar]

Oh this gave me the best laugh for ages!
I would have loved it if you could thank him for me but don't want to embarrass him any further. I shall just thank you instead.
Oh, bless x x

[Stargazer]

Mt son in lawk ask if they have any F U C K underwear in Debenhams.

[Georgiesmum]

IMy ex boss was the sort that was always very stony faced and never smiled. She had some visitors to her flat and they were admiring the wall that her hubby had just painted. She said yes, we used Durex you know!
(Obviously meaning Dulux!) LOL

[Sparkles62]

Josaphine, love the Durex paint, really funny. X

[EDDIE51]

A lady I know was having problems with her car and had been told the clutch diaphragm needed replacement.
She went to the garage and announced to the mechanic '' I need a new diaphragm mine has a hole in it!''
Another girl I knew was in the USA on holiday, on her last night she went to the hotel reception desk and said to the male receptionist '' I have an early flight, so can you knock me up at 6am ?''
The phase '' To knock up'' has a VERY different meaning in the USA .
(it means to get someone pregnant !)

[Ann]

O hilarious Sparkles - one for Mrs O I think!

[Ann]

Many years ago my Mum moved house and she was telling Mr Ann that at the bootom of the garden was a farmer's field ... then came the hilarious bit "I'm not too sure about all the botox in the field though! He nearly fell over trying to turn the other way so she couldn't see him laughing! Poor love, she never did realise what she had said, probably never even heard the word, knowing my Mum! :)

[Ann]

Boll**cks!