Screaming And Crying Children

[jamesnan]

We had a family move in the house next door last year, and from the start there seems to be screaming and crying going on from the children. They have 3, oldest about 6 yrs, and about 4 and about 18months. The mother very rarely leaves the house, and is always reluctant to answer the door should anyone knock, even if an appointment has been booked. A health worker knocked for about 10 mins before the door was answered, and that was only after she had put a note through the letter box. I believe the father works in the take away trade, and comes home about 2oc in the morning, but unless the children are crying they are hardly ever heard.

When do you as a caring person, begin to worry there is something fundamentally wrong, or is it just being a busy body if it was brought to the notice of the authorities. It is not normal behaviour for a family with 3 small children, who rarely if ever go out into the garden, and who scream and cry for long periods.

[ladybirder]

Wouldn't the Health Worker notify the authorities if something was amiss?

[hellywelly4]

I would contact the NSPCC or social services. I once hesitated to report a man I knew was hitting his daughter, but was told I was doing the right thing. If there is something wrong and it later comes to light you will never forgive yourself.

[ummmm]

My son screamed whenever I was out of his sight. He'd scream until he made himself sick.

[woofgang]

I agree, if you are concerned (and I would be) then the NSPCC or social services would be the way to go. Can I ask how you knew that the caller was a health worker?

[Patsy33]

Maybe one or more could be autistic? Even so, best to have word with someone in authority for peace of mind..

[anneasquith]

Do the children go to school/ nursery ?

[horselady]

Don't ignore it. Years ago when my own kids were small, before little ones went to playgroups but stayed home with mum, I used to see a little boy in our road always standing at an upstairs window and often idly wondered why he was always upstairs when his sisters were playing in the garden.
Turned out the parents locked the poor kid in his room and only let him out to use the toilet. Mother said she hated him. Did I regret not voicing my thoughts much earlier? You bet.

[ladybirder]

Does the 6 year old go to school?

It would be nice to get some answers from the OP.

[kvalidir]

If the health visitor is calling why would you need to interfere?
Children do scream and cry A LOT, I know our house sounded like someone was being killed when I was little and I've not really been out in my garden since last year because of the weather, so why would they perhaps?
I understand that you are keen to make sure nothing is amiss, but the lady doesn't have to go out a regimented amount of times if she doesn't wish to, or answer her own front door if she doesn't want to, and different cultures have different social norms too. As you said her husband words in a take away, are the family British or immigrants? If they are immigrants perhaps she doesn't have a strong command of English, and thus shies away from going out or keeping appointments?
Lots of reasons for everything that you think is suspicious and if the kids look healthy, happy and the health visitor calls then I'd be vary of stirring up trouble for people.

[Peter Pedant]

// I would contact the NSPCC or social services//

agree - I would write and keep acopy
it looks as tho they already know ( health worker )

a neighbour to her credit - I usually cant stand her - took a child she thought was being abused and kept it in her house and demanded the police be called ! wow
the police searched the childs mothers house and found enough food ( which apparently they have powers to do) and went on their way .....

[ummmm]

I agree with that^^

[ummmm]

That was to kvalidir.

[jamesnan]

The health visitor asked me if the family was in since she had an appointment with them, I was outside gardening. The oldest child does go to school, gets taken by the father in the car. They have lived in the house about 15months but the children almost never play in the garden, as my children used to when small. During the day it is usually quiet, and I think this is when father sleeps, but children start about mid afternoon and it goes on till very late at night. The parents seem to shout a lot but since we don't understand the language not sure if it is at the children or each other. The mother has never even acknowledged us, bowing her head if she passes at the door.

[ummmm]

The health visitor is involved so stay out of it.

[ivor4781]

just remember at least three children have been killed horribly even though the "health/children's authorities "were involved !!

[murraymints]

perhaps a wee anonymous note of concern to SS ?

[hellywelly4]

It's obviously more than 'normal' screaming and crying, and you are concerned. Don't leave it, go with your instinct.

[mikey4444]

Helly has it right here at 22:45 last night.

[hereIam]

No harm reporting it, if the kids are being abused then all to the good, if not then at least your conscience will be clear and you'll stop worrying.