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Replacement Windows

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McMouse | 11:12 Mon 24th Sep 2012 | Jokes
14 Answers
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-glazed, energy-efficient kind.
Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.
He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Hellloooo,.............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid..
So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year,,,
Helllooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.
He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

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One is tempted to say BOGOF.....
-- answer removed --
@stanleys

?
...well, I read on, but all I could see was "13:33 Mon 24th Sep 2012 Report".
Ever since I read this I'm getting a screen full of D/Glazing Ads.
Stanleys forgot to add the link I think
I suspect the forgotten link would be a better joke than the OP though :)
I must try that lol.
The thing here is that Stanleys dont appear to have appreciated the category in which the OP posted
Question Author
Did you hear about the Double Glazing Salesman who knocked on a door. The occupants answered and said "We're Jehovah's Witnesses, please come in."
Here's what you missed Rojash:

CONSIDER BUYING WINDOWS WHEN . . .

Your home feels drafty in cold weather or uncomfortably warm from heat penetrating your windows in warmer weather.
Your heating and cooling bills are high—and continue to increase!
You're concerned about how safe or secure your windows are.
Your home's existing windows are faded, making your home look old and dated or in poor condition.
The glass in your windows is cracked or the operating hardware is in need of repair.
Your windows are difficult or impossible to open or close.
Your old windows require constant work—puttying, painting, and re-caulking them.
You're planning to sell your home and you need better "curb appeal" to make the sale.

WINDOW BUYING TIPS & ADVICE:

TIP 1: Become an educated consumer so that you can make smart decisions about this major investment. You deserve the best value for your hard-earned dollars, and you want windows that you will never need to replace again.

TIP 2: Select windows with frames and sashes made from premium-grade vinyl. Technological advancements over the past decade make vinyl the best material choice for energy efficiency, durability, low maintenance and beauty.

TIP 3: Choose "custom-made" windows. Though the initial purchase price may be higher than standard-sized windows, custom-manufactured windows are the best value in the long run because installation is faster and little to no "cosmetic" work to the inside or outside of your home is required. Plus, an exact fit means better thermal performance and lower energy bills!

TIP 4: Replacing windows is a great way to give your home a fresh, new look. Consider all the various styles, shapes and colors in which windows are now available. Today, window options offer new benefits never imagined before—from enhanced security and protection against damaging UV light to sound or energy control and greater comfort.

TIP 5: Select ENERGY STAR® qualified windows and doors from a manufacturer that participates in the ENERGY STAR program. With continuously rising energy costs, high-performance products will keep your heating and cooling bills lower—and provide a greater level of comfort for your home.

TIP 6: Choose windows from a specialty window dealer or home-improvement company that offers products from a reputable manufacturer. Research manufacturers, keeping an eye out for positive feedback, longevity and growth. Consider what past purchasers say about the company's products, and pay special attention to its warranties.
That's as bad as the JW's Advent Calender, every time you open a window a little man pops out and tells you to F****** O****!
Thanks Factor30, if I hadn't read that I'd have had no idea under what circumstances I should consider buying new windows. :-)
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