How Both Sexes Shower

[kvalidir]

This is so true x

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum and tenderly stroke your belly.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off, whilst seductively stroking your belly.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.And go make food

[Mamyalynne]

Utter filth- reported ;-)

[pastafreak]

*splutter*

[shoota]

'Woo-woo'..... ;-)

[kvalidir]

It's the pile of clothes on the floor and the wet towel on the bed thing. Woo Woo to you too Shoota ;-)

[Theland]

From experience or a play you are in?

[waterboatman]

I must be a woman!

[Theland]

I had to swap the rubber duck for my inhaler. Every shower needs several puffs to get me through.

[Eleena]

Couldn't put up with that kval ;0)

[woofgang]

An oldie but a goody. I first read this around 20 years ago!

[retrocop]

A shower???? What sweet memories.
Us oldies rely on bed baths. :-(

[Theland]

Kvals OH needs a flick with the end of a wet towel.
That'll fix 'im

[sunny-dave]

6 years ago !!

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Jokes/Question1101166.html

[Patsy33]

Lol!

[spathiphyllum]

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Jokes/Question1600852.html


Certainly has done the rounds

[mushroom25]

BOTH sexes, Kval?

implying there are only 2? that's a bit non-pc, isn't it?

[spathiphyllum]

well.. when the gender fluid people shower they usually end up down the plug hole.

[kvalidir]

Tres droll Spath :)

I'd never seen it before ( that I can remember anyway), I had no idea that it was so old x

[spathiphyllum]

almost as old as our dear dave ;) However, he can't be that old cus he remembered he posted it!! ;)

[Tilly2]

Doesn't matter how old it is, it's still true...and funny.

[Atheist]

Kval, sorry to hear that your story is not your own original. I enjoyed your covering up as you walked towards the shower.