Home Truths....

[netibiza]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.


GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers
to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

[jim360]

You got your first truth about growing old the wrong way round, surely?

[pixie373]

Lol. The one about the broccoli reminded me i apparently used to stuff marmite sandwiches down the back of the radiator. Didn't like them.

[stewey]

Some great lines there: I especially like the one about health food.

[naomi24]

My friend's little boy stuffed his bread soldiers up his nose - and had to go to hospital to have them removed. She wondered why he was so quiet! :o)

[DTCwordfan]

Adults: Always have a pair of stamp tweezers in the house, those ones with rounded and flat ends - they are brilliant for extracting things like peas, beads and other objects from toddler and youngsters orifices - like nostrils and ears.

[grasscarp]

I dont know so much about number 1 netIbiza. I have been to a rabbits funeral. I had to be respectful but couldnt forget that when I had looked after it for friend, and gone out on a snowy morning to feed it before I left for work, that it had bitten me and drawn blood!

[naomi24]

DTC, didn't work. He did a really solid job!

[Dee Sa]

its all true nety, when my youngest was small he got the rubber from the end of a pencil stuck in his ear, when I asked how on earth did you do that he showed me and got the second one stuck in the other ear off we went to A&E after that little demo, the doctor laughed !

[pixie373]

Lol! Aren't they clever, Dee?