what shall I do?

[mumsie_wumsie]

Hi, well this is my question. My home is a three bed house, rented from the local council. I have lived here for 36 years, since 1976. My kids have grown up here and I am very happy here. I live on my own here ( my husband passed away in 1996) and now feel it is time to down size. I have the chance of moving to a two bed bungalow, in a village surrounded by farm land, just 11 miles from my house. It is a very nice bungalow, but at present it is in a very dirty condition,having been left like this from the previous tenant. I am hoping the council will sort it out before they re-let it. I just don't feel I could clean some one elses dirt. Not just cleaning but whole place needs decorating. At 65 years old I am not up to doing all this work. What do any of you think I should do? I love my house and it would be a wrench to leave it, but also feel I should move. Any advice would be gratefully received. Thanks. ( I would say that usually the council do decorate before re-letting, but have just got a funny feeling about this one,or am I trying to put obstacles in my way).

[sandyRoe]

Do you have friends and neighbours where you are now? If I was you I'd stay where you are.

[Mosaic]

Like Sandy says - weigh up the people you want to be near, and how easy it is to get to shops / doctors etc.
You could also use this as part of a discussion with the housing section ie 'can't face redecorating - can only face moving if....'

[mumsie_wumsie]

Yes Sandyroe, I have lovely neighbours and all my friends live close by. It would be a completely different way of life if I moved to this bungalow, but it would also be just a few minutes from where my daughter and grand kids live. I am in a dilemma.

[mumsie_wumsie]

Yes Mosaic, thats probably exactly what I would say to them. But would they think I was being too picky. What a decision.

[boxtops]

If you have good neighbours and friends, then have a cleaning, moving and redecorating party over a series of weekends. My friends helped me clean up and decorate when I moved here - it doesn't have to be a one-woman job. Make them a curry, provide the beer and coffee - have fun moving. I would - if you don't need a 3-bed house then downside. Although - what makes you think you should move, if you like it where you are?

[boxtops]

^downsize

[EvianBaby]

Can't you rope your children into helping you out? I'm sure you've done plenty for them over the years.

[mandy22]

If it was me I would probably move and take all my memories with me. A small bungalow is a lot less work (on a day to day basis) than a 3 bed house, and if like others have suggested, you get help to clean the place up and redecorate you will soon have it spotless and decorated just as you like it, just look at is as a blank canvas at the moment.
You will also be nearer your family, and you can keep in contact with your current neighbours and friends where you live now, just think of it as having a wider circle of friends and neighbours, as you will meet more people if you decide to move.
Good luck with your decision,x

[EDDIE51]

All councils i know do a full redecoration before new tenants move in.
y daughter recently moved to a bungalow as she is disabled , the council redecorated the whole place and even put in new floors.
Do you know most councils will pay people to downsize in situations such as yours ? they want multi bed houses available for familys so to encourage single people such as you to move they pay a fee as compensation for the inconvience of moving. It is worth enquiring if your council have this scheme , the cash can be quite worth having up to £5000 depending on the size of house vacated.
On the other hand I know an elderly lady in your situation, 3 bed house that is too large for her. She has converted the downstairs into a living area with kitchen, bathroom,bedroom and lounge. She does not use the upstairs at all unless her kids come to visit when they have the upstairs . She was lucky though as her bathroom/toilet was downstairs anyway.

[mumsie_wumsie]

Wow!! thank you all for your comments and suggestions,they are most welcome.
Boxtops,the reason I am thinking of down sizing is because I really don't need a three bed house now, and by freeing it up would give a family with children a chance to live in a lovely house. I do love my house and it will upset me very much to leave here, but I know deep in my heart I would be doing the right thing.
Evian Baby, yes my kids would help me, but there is a lot to do and they both work hard and don't get a lot of free time, and of course have their own families.But yes they would help.
Mandy22, yes I would be nearer to my daughter, but further away from my son. At the moment I live half way between the two. I agree a bungalow would be easier and cheaper to run than my house. I would of course still keep my friends here, its not too far away to visit,and of course there would be new people to get to know. The bungalow is only one of six in the road, and the vicarage. The church is right opposite along with the church yard. ( no problems there, these neighbours are quiet and cause no trouble)
Eddie51, yes my council have an incentive to move scheme too.You get so much for each bedroom you give up (which would just be one) and if you give up an entrance door(ie, if you move into a flat which only has one door in, and no back door into a garden). Also my council does decorate before re-letting but I would be going to a different council, so not sure how they work, although I would think they all run much the same.
So many questions, I am feeling totally confused. And all the packing, now that does daunt me, although I have been gradually de-cluttering in anticipation of this; and I would have to get rid of such a lot of things. It would be a lot easier to decide if I wasn't so happy here in my house. Oh Dear!!

[brenda]

Stay where you are for the moment. Give things another year or so and then decide.Don't feel under pressure to make a hasty decsion, especially if you are happy where you are.

[sherrardk]

I don't think you actually want to move but that you feel that you should (so a family can have your current house). Stay where you are and see how you feel in a couple of months/years. (Don't feel guilty for keeping your house, at one stage we were faced with moving into temporary council accommodation and even then I would not have wanted a single person to leave their family home so that I could have one.)

[mumsie_wumsie]

Thanks Brenda and sherrardk, that sounds like good advice. Trouble is, I am 65 now and if I leave it much longer, I won't do it. I have all I need here, I have a stair lift, shower etc, which all make my life easy. When I first asked for advice on here, I was first on the list for this bungalow ( we have a bidding system here), but now some one else has bid on this and I am now second. So if this other person likes it, they will get it, and it will be end of my " shall I, shan't I " I am confused.com

[hc4361]

As you need a stair lift and other aids to help with your mobility, and you have been widowed for some years, it is time to move on. If you were recently widowed I'd advise you wait a while, but you are not making any sort of knee jack reaction to a change of circumstances.

11 miles is no distance and as you rightly say you will make new friends. Hopefully the church has some sort of social activities, so even if they don't appeal it is a great way to get to know new people.

You also have the internet so will be able to easily keep in touch with your old neighbours. Less council tax, less heating bills = more money in your pocket.

Go for it!

[mumsie_wumsie]

Thanks Hc for your advice, which is all very true. I am now 3rd on the bidding list, some one else obviously likes this bungalow too. Its beginning to look a bit remote for me to get it now. And I reckon that these other two applicants know the area,and how remote it is. Oh well, ho hum :-(

[mumsie_wumsie]

Well folks, an update on the 'shall I shan't I move'. I ended up fourth on the bidding, so there was not any chance of me getting the bungalow in the end. Obviously, others liked it as much as I did. So,I am still in my lovely house, and very happy to stay here until another bungalow becomes available. But it has to be in the right place for me to consider it. I hope whoever did move into the bungalow will be very happy there, it was the ideal place to live.