Crosswords2 mins ago
It's All Medical
An ill mannered waitress became suddenly sick on the job while serving and had to be rushed by ambulance to the emergency room of a nearby hospital.
She was laid on one of the trolleys and set aside waiting to get the attention of the doctor for about an hour.
Suddenly, she saw the doctor with a stethoscope around his neck.
She recognised him as someone coming to eat in her restaurant and yelled, "Help me doctor; I have been waiting in pain for so long.”
The doctor replied, "Sorry lady that is not my table."
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient.
"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?"
That's correct," muttered the patient.
"I like wool socks."
"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor.
"Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks."
"You do?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?
There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight.
Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored.
The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.
Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art, the doctor's office.
During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, “What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?”
To this, the eye doctor responded, “I said to myself, thank the Lord, I'm not a gynaecologist.”
A man walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment.
"Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty blonde receptionist asked.
"I'll need the information for the doctor." "It's rather embarrassing" the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."
"Well, the doctor is very busy today" the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."
A man never could work up the courage to have sex. He was worried his manhood was a little small.
Then one day he fell in love with a nurse.
One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.
"Don't worry," She said. "I'm a nurse. I won't laugh."
Blushing the man drops his trousers.
"It's OK," she said. "I've seen lots smaller than that."
"Really?" the relieved man asked.
She nodded. "Yes," she chuckled, "I used to work in the maternity unit."
She was laid on one of the trolleys and set aside waiting to get the attention of the doctor for about an hour.
Suddenly, she saw the doctor with a stethoscope around his neck.
She recognised him as someone coming to eat in her restaurant and yelled, "Help me doctor; I have been waiting in pain for so long.”
The doctor replied, "Sorry lady that is not my table."
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient.
"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?"
That's correct," muttered the patient.
"I like wool socks."
"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor.
"Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks."
"You do?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?
There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight.
Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored.
The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.
Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art, the doctor's office.
During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, “What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?”
To this, the eye doctor responded, “I said to myself, thank the Lord, I'm not a gynaecologist.”
A man walked into the doctor's surgery for an appointment.
"Would you like to tell me your problem?" the pretty blonde receptionist asked.
"I'll need the information for the doctor." "It's rather embarrassing" the guy stammered. "You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection."
"Well, the doctor is very busy today" the receptionist cooed, "but maybe I can squeeze you in."
A man never could work up the courage to have sex. He was worried his manhood was a little small.
Then one day he fell in love with a nurse.
One fine evening, they went back to her place. She put on some soft music and led him into the bedroom. Totally mortified, he told her of his problem.
"Don't worry," She said. "I'm a nurse. I won't laugh."
Blushing the man drops his trousers.
"It's OK," she said. "I've seen lots smaller than that."
"Really?" the relieved man asked.
She nodded. "Yes," she chuckled, "I used to work in the maternity unit."
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