forcing ex to sell our house

[bobpants]

hi i need some help here!
i split up from my ex over a year ago(we were NOT married)we have two children aged 4 and 6, both of our names are on the mortgage and deeds.
after attending mediation and months of letters between solicitors it seems that she does not want to sell the house(although she had agreed to it in principle in mediation).
there is about £40000 equity in the house which is a 4 bed terrace,she does not want to let me buy her out as any money will affect her benefits which is also the reason that she does not want to sell.The mortgage for the last year has been mostly paid by me from a joint account that we still have,the money in this joint account is dwindling as she won't pay any more in and i cant afford to either,so it would seem the only option would be to sell up before it gets re-possessed.
i have contacted an estate agent to put it on the market but she wont answer any of my calls and wont speak when i pick my kids up from her so i cant get an estate agent in.
As she is unwilling to sell it would seem my only option is to apply to the court to force her to sell up which is a last resort for me as nobody wants to go to court and the costs will be severely damaging to the equity
my questions are-
would i have a strong case for winning the case.
would a judge allow me to buy her out if i was to ask
what sort of costs could i expect and who would pay costs
thanks for any help!

[dotty.]

where would her and your children live if you forced her to sell the family home?

[dotty.]

I suggest you ask her again when your youngest leaves full time education or reaches 18, whichever comes first

[askyourgran]

You really need expert advice from a Solicitor, or try the Citizens Advice Bureau first, for a free consultation.

[bobpants]

she would have to rent with her share of the equity or be housed by the council

[bobpants]

waiting until the kids are older is not an option as the house will be re-possessed by the end of the year

[craft1948]

I don't think it works like that bob.............if it went before a court the only thing they would be interested in is making sure that YOU keep a roof over your children's heads until they reach 16.

[dotty.]

these are your choices:
1) Let your kids grow up knOWing you intentionally left them in a homeless situation and were willing to let them feel the fear and turmoil of it all.
2) Let them stay there until they leave full time education and always feel you did right by them.

[arwyn]

Move back in and you'll have more say. If things are really over between you both she'll be glad to be rehoused and you can sell.

[lcg]

not realistic dotty! she can't xpect to be kept by him for the next 14 years...that's unreasonable. at present, she is housed with one too many bedrooms as it is. play hardball and either freeze the account with savings, or take half. then see how keen she will be to p!ss her share away on her half of the mortage (obviously give support to the children by paying for school dinners, buying clothes and their needs. if he were a total git and did nothing, housing benefit would not pay either. maybe a bit of tough bargaining is needed to actually get her to talk to you about a reasonable solution for ALL of you. remind her what it could be like as homeless, in council accommodation, on benefits and with no input from you. good luck x

[dotty.]

it might nor seem realistic but it is the kids that he is keeping housed not his ex. The courts will not allow any repossession to lead to eviction because he is refusing to pay the mortgage. he will have made the family intentionally homeless,

[grasscarp]

This reminds me of something I heard on the radio years ago. This solicitor was talking about people who were not married coming to him for advice on house purchase. He always said, "and what is going to happen to the house if you split up?" and they always said, "no, we are never going to split up", and the majority turned up a year or more later with, "we're splitting up, what shall we do about the house". Seems like it is something that nobody wants to work out in the cold light of day before the event. Sorry if that does not help your quandary, but was this never discussed before joint purchase?

[lcg]

he does not have to keep them housed, dotty. what planet are you living on? if he's a regular bloke doing his bit, why should she sit on her arse in the house, on benefits, squandering the savings (some of which are legally his, btw) while he lives on a sofa or in a dump; paying for everything? blokes are allowed to move on too, you know x

[dotty.]

It's not about her it is about their children, should they go through the trauma of eviction and homelessness because he is refusing to look after them?

[bobpants]

i cannot afford to keep paying for a mortgage on a house i no longer live in and find and pay for somewhere else to live and have a house to take my kids as they spend a lot of time with me,i pay for my kids through the csa

[lcg]

ooh - the children!!!! no, dotty - they both have a responsibility and at the moment, her decision making is not that great by the sounds of it. when i seperated from my husband, we did what was best for everybody. sometimes it is just bigger than harping on about the kids. at the end of the day, they aren't the one's who pay for everything and from what bobpants states, she is wasting ALL of their money - it's her that is affecting the kids long term. think about it...x

[lcg]

bobpants...if i were you i would take the savings and tell her to keep the equity in her beloved house and wish her luck x

[bobpants]

she wouldnt be able to afford the mortgage if i did that

[lcg]

that's the whole point, bobpants. you take the cash which she will just end up wasting anyway, and let her keep the equity in the house (which i bet is far more anyway). she how long it takes her to change her mind...because she will get into debt quickly and what if it happens now (when you do have money to then bargain with) instead of when the savings are gone later? you sound far too nice and i think she's taking you for a mug who will pay to YOUR detriment, and not hers. it's gonna happen anyway, by the sounds of it, so do something now. i would...x