Crashed and burned...

[kat2206]

I handed in my notice at work at the end of last week as I have been offered a better, larger salary job.

I went to the office yesterday to hand back my laptop, mobile etc.. Everything was fine, so I thought.

I got home to my OH where he dropped the bomb shell that he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be with me... Why oh why could the have said before I handed in my notice, as now, I'm not going to be able to get a mortgage etc whilst on a probation period with my new job... Nice one ***!

V hurt, haven't slept, haven't eaten and to top it off I still love him and that sucks!

[rockyracoon]

Oh no Kat! How awful for you. Do you need the mortgage to buy him out if the hone you both live in a the moment? If so tell him he'll have to wait.

[kat2206]

No, it's his farm house. I would need a mortgage to get my own place... He has "kindly" offered to let me stay at his though until I can get sorted. I don't want to be sorted, I want him... Sounds melodramatic, I know :(

[Booldawg]

sorry hun, chin up in the face of adversity!

on the upshot you've got your good job, yes it will take a few months in it to get to a position where you can take out a mortgage, but at least you'll have more borrowing power than before.

[Mammar]

Oh, my dear, that's awful.
Having been in a similar situation, and I know you don't want to hear this but, you'll be ok. For every door that slams, another one opens.
Right, that's the platitudes out of the way.
We're all here for you. X x

[Sqad]

\\Why oh why could the have said before I handed in my notice, as now, \\

There is never a "good time" to dump a woman.

[ummmm]

How awful :-(

You don't need to get a mortgage. Why not rent?

[emmie]

poor you, what a horrible thing to happen, there is never going to be a good time to split from a partner, and if you are on the receiving end it hurts like bloody hell. Chin up mon ami, it will get better, not yet, but someday..

[naomi24]

Oh, I am so sorry for you. How awful. Give it a few days - give yourself time to think. It's very raw at the moment - you are in shock and your mind is in turmoil.

[pastafreak]

That's terrible-but life likes to pull the rug out from under us sometimes.
I agree with ummmm. You really don't need the hassle of a mortgage when you are going through a divorce and seperation, along with settling into a new job.. Take it from one who knows. Do what you can to make life easy for now.

[ummmm]

Although it might not feel like it now but the timing might be a blessing in disguise. New job, new home, new start.

[Svejk]

I'm sure its hard, but look on the bright side. You don't mention children, you're independent with job/own money.
You won't believe it now, but I'll guarantee in time (not long)you'll wonder why you felt upset about this. Not very well put, I mean you will move on. Everybody does.

[Dee Sa]

there isnt much I can do but you certainly have my sympathy kat, you must stay strong and think of " as one door closes another will open ", I wish you the best if luck in your new job.

[parkie]

That's very sad kat. I really feel for you.
Are there any children involved?

[excelsior-1]

Oh kat.
What can i say?
All my thoughts .. At least you still have a roof over your head

[jan01]

Oh my goodness.... how awful for you to have to live under the roof of someone who doesn't want you :( ........ are your children in a position to provide a roof? or maybe rent? .....

[Hopkirk]

If he had done it before you resigned, and you had stayed, you would be saying you were stuck in a lower paid job.

The timing might be right really.

Get a rented place, and as Ummmm says - New job, new home, new start.

[Smowball]

Agree, rent a little place till you decide what to do, and whilst you settle into your new job. V sorry about your news though.

[kat2206]

Hi guys, sorry for the delay in replying. My emotions have been very "roller coaster" today. Fortunately, no children involved. I have spoken to the mortgage broker and he did say that some mortgage companies will offer me a mortgage because I am in the same industry and had continuous employment for years, so a safe bet.

I really would like to purchase this house, it's a lovely 3 bed semi for...... Wait for it.... Around £72,500. I live in an area of very reasonable house prices. It's been modernised so all I would have to do is move in and my calculations for a mortgage would be cheaper than renting.

I'm sitting here in "his" shirt, I can smell his gorgeous smell on me and I feel closer to him this way. He's out at the moment and I really want to reach out and call him just so I can hear his voice, to speak to him.

I have written him a letter though rather pouring out my feelings to him that he may not want to hear, it was cathartic for me too writing down everything that I feel for him.

I just want him back so bad, I want him to love me again :(

[jan01]

kat ... can you make him love you again???? is it possible to try to ignite what first brought you together? has he explained what ever has gone so wrong?? ... seems like you have looked after him so well....

[Hopkirk]

My heart goes out to you. I hope you find yourself in a better place soon.

My worry with buying a property is you are so tied.
At least with renting, you can change your plans easily - and you don't know what your future holds.