Moral dilema!

[nykkieberry]

We recently attended my partner's best friend's wedding. Before the ceremony, we met up with the groom and best man at the best man's house to unload belongings from the car to enable us to transport a patio heater up to the reception venue. A large, wrapped gift, taken out of our car by the bestman and groom, was accidently left on the driveway for 15 minutes (at 11.30am) whilst we took our cases upstairs and the groom and bestman went to the church. We returned from upstairs to find it had been stolen. Our dilemma is, do we replace the gift? It was a �100 food processor that we saved hard for and cannot really afford to replace. I feel that we should but we will really struggle to find the money just before Christmas (and we have already spent about �700 on their day ' my partner went on an expensive stag do to Amsterdam he couldn't afford; I attended an expensive hen do and the outfits and actual cost on the day cost a bomb!) What should we do??

[woofgang]

I think that you should come absolutely clean with your friends. **** happens and I am sure that friends would feel sorry for the circumstances and reassure you not to worry. Am I right in understanding that it was the gift which you had bought that went missing? I hope whoever nicked it reads this and feels properly sorry.

[boognish76]

As it was stolen from their driveway and not the street, might it not be covered by their insurance?

[nykkieberry]

Thanks Woofgang. We came clean with them on the day as we were so upset about it. They told us not to replace it but I feel like we should. I don't know whether anyone can suggest an affordable alternative? Such as nice bottle of wine or something? Would that be appropriate? Or something we could make them as a momento from the day? (Giving them time rather than money as an alternative) We were gutted on the day - we couldn't believe it. Not a godd experience right before the ceremony - it took the edge of it. Most upsetting was that attached to present was a gift made by my three year old son. It was also wrapped beautifully so the bar stewards must have known it was a present. I really hope that they get their just deserts!

[nykkieberry]

We thought about claiming but I don't think we would be able to claim for it as we left the gift unattended. A bit like leaving your front door open then getting robbed - you can't claim for that either. It would also mean claiming on the best man's insurance for our loss which would affect his premiums. Thanks for the suggestion anyway though! The annoying thing is is that my friend's live on a lovely estate and always leave their garage wide open (which is full of bikes, toys, tools, etc.) and they have never been burgled! We leave a present for 15 minute son thed riveway and it goes! They must have seen the groom leave for the church as well - which makes it all the more sick. : (

[treaclefight]

it sounds as though you made a very substantial contribution (emotionally as opposed to the financial one)to the most important day of their lives, this is what they're going to remember you for, the food processor would have been at the back of u dusty cupboard in a few years, but memories of the day and the stag and hen nights will be laughed about for the rest of your lives. if it was me, i would probably leave the exact same present on their doorstep on their first anniversary (ensuring it doesn't get stolen obviously, i would ring the doorbell and run away), that way the unfortunate loss is turned into something humerous, they will be incredibly touched that you have remembered their anniversary and you dont have to find the moeny for it before xmas. in the meantime let the guilt go and enjoy planning their anniversary suprise. :-)