unsure of what to do for best

[sleepyfairy]

Me and my husband have just seperated after 23 years, long story but basically i have no trust left and asked him to leave, we have a mortgage and he is still leaving his wages coming in to joint account for now, which I have sole access to, as he is useless with money, so enough to cover all finances we had together, i am staying in the house with our 2 grown lads, both working full time, I work part-time, we have agreed that i give him half his wage each month in a lump sum, which is enough for him to just manage on, he is intending to get somewhere to live but at the moment not sure if he is going alone or with the other women who is a temp worker (POLISH), he is stopping with his sister, but cant stay long, we are only just going to manage with money, but he has said he will not take more than I can afford. BUT he actually mentioned today that what happens about the house, he should get half what it is worth, i was not intending to sell, do i have to sell it if he later decides he wants it all, would i have to give him what it is worth to keep it or what we paid to mortgage? I do not want to rock the boat by going to solicitor as it is still early days, Only happened last Friday, any advice would be appreciated, we are on friendly terms and hopefully can keep it that way, i have said anything he needs i will try and help, although if this Polish women comes on the scene I do think things would change. Please advise!!!

[lady_p_gold]

Well first of all I would advise you to stay calm and it might well be worth just having one appointment with a solicitor as unfortunately these things can get very heated especially when there is a third party involved. Also my experience of life tells me that this relationship with the Polish women has not much chance of lasting, especially with the length of marriage and the two boys you share. However that does not mean that she may not be having a very strong influence on him at the moment and he has lost his mind temporarily. You also may never want him back, but bear in mind that if it was possible to get over this it would be better all round but I know that might not be possible. So, you do not have to leave the house and you may not even have to sell it, after a long marriage like this he may not get half of the house at all. That is why you need to be very careful. It is better to get some legal advice now or end up like some on here who in the rush to get things sorted end up losing a lot of the equity that they could have had. Does he have a pension? You would be entitled to half or more of that. You may not have the employment possibilities that he has , all those things would be taken into consideration. I hope things work out - it wouldn't surprise me though if he came back begging for forgiveness as it sounds a bit like a mid life crisis to me.