Buying out ex-partner...

[MustangLady]

Hi, this is not easy writing this as for me it means it's final... my partner and I were together for 18yrs. We split up this June (day before my birthday). There were no arguments or anything, I just felt that we'd drifted apart this last year after he got a new 'hobby' which took over his life, i hardly saw him. He spent most nights out and weekends he had late nights, we didn't go out together or spend time together anymore. I even had doubts there was someone else involved, which I'm still not sure about, he says there isn't. I suggested that we had a trial split, in my mind i was hoping he'd come to his senses, miss me and come back. Instead one week later he returned saying he thinks its for the best we split altogether. I still love him and miss him. He moved out day before my birthday in June. Now three months later, he asking me to make a decision on our house, joint mortgage. He's now renting a place of his own and can't afford both, as he's still paying part mortgage. We still get on well, but it's final now (and I'm heartbroken)! Now I've got to move on myself hard as it is. I'm don't want lose my 'home' yet, so thinking of buying him out. I've had house valued but don't know where to go from here? Who do i need to contact first? Any one could help me I would be grateful.

[Ethel]

1. Agree fair amount to buy him out

2. Talk to bank to see if you can a mortgage on your own.

You'll look back and see this as a positive thing one day, I'm sure.

[MustangLady]

thank you Ethel. I'm sure i will look back some day, but now is really really hard... don't think it'll get any easier for a while. I feel heartbroken and angry with myself that i made the suggestion, cos now I would still have him if i hadn't said anything.

[chattykathy]

But you stated he spent most nights & weekends out so you didn't really have him. You deserve someone who will treat you much better than that. I truly hope you meet that person soon.
You can go on a variety of mortgage websites and use the 'how much can you afford' facility
Good luck!

[MustangLady]

Thank you both for your advice.

ETHEL: Have spoken with my 'ex' and settled on a figure and I've made appt with a Financial adviser. I'll also be speaking with my own mortgage company to see what they might offer.

ChattyKathy: Thank you for your kind words. I'll take a look at some websites too, just see what is out there.