Consent Order - Do I Have To Sign?

[bluet]

Hi, this is quite an unusual story but here goes, I would appreciate some other views on this rather messy situation... Myself and my ex husband divorced last year, we had been living apart in two different rented properties for over three years at this point. My ex's boss owns the property that my ex lives in and had stated that if we were to divorce he would give him the property. I went along with this as we have joint custody of our two children and as we have no assets (we both went bankrupt in 2008 and lost everything due to my ex's failed business idea), so I thought it would give the children a property in the event of my ex-husbands death. I asked him at the time to write a will stating that in the event that he gets the house and if anything happened to him that the equity would be split 40-40 between my two boys and 20% to his new live-in partner, I asked for nothing. He never wrote the will nor would sign any financial agreement documents in case his boss saw them (he is frightened of this guy). Anyway, the divorce went through in April 2012 regardless, however I have now received a letter from a solicitor asking me to sign a consent order to dismiss any future financial claims we may have against each other, including rights to each others pension funds. His boss says that if I dont sign this then my ex won't get the house. I suppose some of you reading this (if you have not got bored and given up by now!) are wondering why his boss is so intent on me not getting anything from him? Well, when we were about to lose our joint home due to the bankruptcy, I asked him if he would consider buying our home and renting it back to us (he is a millionaire)... his reply was "I dont want the house but I will come and look at it if you wear stockings and suspenders when I come"... unbelievable heh? I obviously refused this and ever since then he has borne a grudge. Told you it was messy... My question is: I feel very manipulated and actually blackmailed, as I am personally set to gain absolutely nothing out of this arrangement, apart from my children possibly getting the house upon my ex's death (with nothing in writing to state this), do I sign this Consent Order or not? Thanks in advance Answerbankers...

[woofgang]

Has your oh got a pension fund? Me I would always back the cert rather than the maybe and there is nothing to stop the boss reneging on the house deal. Me I would not sign and would go for what can be got now within the divorce law.

[rojash]

How your ex decides to divide his property in his will is entirely up to him, and none of your business. Sign the consent and get on with living your own life, and let him get on with his.

[Canary42]

No, DON'T sign.

[kloofnek]

Don`t sign!How do you know the boss will give your ex.the house in the end.Why would he "just" give it away ..millionaires are often made by being tight-fisted and careful with their assets.
He is trying to get his own back on you for refusing to play ball with him...sounds an absolutely odious person.
As Woof says...stick to what you are lawfully entitled to...much simplier.

[IggyB]

Are you sure your ex has not funnelled cash to his boss to hide it during divorce or bankruptcy and this is now being passed back to him as a valuable asset. None of this sounds legit to my mind, I'm not sure i would sign unless you are sure that no matter what comes to light you want nothing more from him... This might be the healthiest decision for the soul but not for the bank balance

[themas]

If you had a solicitor dealing with the divorce he/she should advise you on this. As a general rule, I think it is always unwise to sign anything which commits you long term in this way. How would you feel if your ex was suddenly found to have come into a fortune (eg won the lottery) & your children got none of it because of what you had signed? You really do need some legal advice.

[DaisyNonna]

Sign nothing without the advice of a solicitor.

[lcg]

i wouldn't....i don't see why you should be effectively punished twice by your ex. why do you care if he gets nothing? refuse to sign....you have to look after your own interests above his (and for your kids). there is every chance they are dangling a carrot in order for you to be hit with the stick anyway.....unless you have cash in your hand or a solid legal document stating your kids will get a share in the property (not a will - these can be changed, don't forget).....i think the arrangement is pretty useless for you, tbh.

[mrs_overall]

I wouldn't sign

[mrs_overall]

A consent order is usually signed at he time of divorce. It seem suspicious to me that your ex wants one signing now

[rockyracoon]

I wouldn't sign it either, especially without legal advice, then I still probably wouldn't as I'm a bloodyminded cow.